


The Five Times Tony Stark Heard Loki Sing

by AlexKingOfTheDamned, swimsalot



Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Music & Bands, Karaoke, Loki the Rock Star, M/M, Singing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-27
Updated: 2013-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-22 15:08:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/611170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexKingOfTheDamned/pseuds/AlexKingOfTheDamned, https://archiveofourown.org/users/swimsalot/pseuds/swimsalot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sort of an AU?</p><p>Post-Avengers, Loki learns of his love for singing on stage in front of adoring fans. He makes it a goal to do this for the rest of his life - and seducing Tony Stark is just a fringe benefit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Poor Unfortunate Souls

**Author's Note:**

> These works are going to have songs that Loki "wrote"
> 
> He obviously did not actually write the songs.

Loki's head bobbed along with the heavy drums that set the beat to his current favorite song. As much as he hated Earth there was one thing he had to admit humans had gotten right; music.

 

He had been living in Stark Tower for nearly six months and the only solace he had found was in this human music. Asgardian music seemed somewhat soulless in comparison. Asgardian musicians rare employed the use of singing and when they did the lyrics were never so provocative. Musicians on Earth seemed to have no problem revealing everything to their varied audiences, from the tragedies of their home lives to their many sexual conquests to their more illicit actions. There was a freedom to the music that he loved.  
  
Not to mention variety. There were fast, pulsing beats that made him ache to move – though he wasn't sure in what way – but at the same time there were melodies so smooth and gentle they often lulled him to sleep. Then there were sounds he could hardly classify as music at all and simply hurt his ears. Still he was determined to sample them all, even if it took a thousand years.  
  
He certainly had the time.  
  
As a loud electric guitar overtook the sound of the drums, Loki became aware of a pounding on his suite door. Most likely it was one of the so-called 'heroes' come to try to convince him to aid in the rebuilding efforts once again. Loki couldn't understand why they constantly tried to pry him away from the safety of his rooms. He didn't want to go outside. He didn't want to help. He didn't want to put up with the sneers and insults that were tossed so casually his way. He simply wouldn't do it.  
  
Instead he reached over and turned the music up even louder, letting the lead singer's obscenities drown out the knocking on his door.

 

Tony stood outside the door, putting on his red tie as he waited for the door to be answered. Instead, however, he heard the music inside Loki’s room increase in volume. With a sigh, Tony shoved open the door.

 

“Jarvis, off.” He barked loudly over the music, and in the next second, it was off.

 

“Hey!” Loki protested.

 

“Hey nothing. You’re – ” Tony paused as he looked over the slender man. “What… _what_ are you wearing?”

 

“I thought you would approve. It _is_ a band tee.” Loki sneered, sitting up on his small bed with a scowl.

 

“Um, no. Escape the Fate isn’t a band, it’s a bunch of bleeding-heart emo kids with too much eyeliner.” Tony said, scanning his eyes over the tight black jeans Loki was wearing, as well as his dark green canvas high top sneakers. “And you look just like them.” Tossing what he’d been holding at the ex-Asgardian, Tony resumed tying his tie. “Put that on, we’re going out.”

 

Loki tossed the garment aside without so much as a glance and fell back onto his bed. "I'm not going anywhere. I am perfectly content to be miserable right here." He said, determined to sound defiant rather than whiny. Tony was the most bearable of his oppressors but that didn't give him the right to start barking out orders like he was some how in charge. As far as Loki was concerned the only person who could even consider bossing him around was Thor and even then he would seriously have to consider whether or not he was in the mood to be obedient.   
  
"Besides, didn't Ms. Potts give you a list of things to do tonight? Do you really have time to be dragging me through the streets?" he asked, hoping the mention of Tony's rather imperious CEO and care taker would get the other man off his back.

 

“Yes, she did. And I finished them. Last thing on the list is to make an appearance at the expo. Everyone else is there, and I’m not about to leave you _alone_ in the tower. Now you can either put on that suit and join me, or you can stay in your sneakers and emo tee and wait in the car.” Tony sighed when Loki turned over on his bed. It was like dealing with a teenager, honestly. “Look, I got the suit tailored just for you. It’s got coattails and gold cufflinks and a green silk tie and everything. Just try it on, you’ll feel so good you’ll want people to see you.”

 

"I despise people." he drawled but turned back onto his back and sat up. He gave Tony his most scathing look before reaching for the discarded suit.   
  
He had to admit, it was nice. Tony had spared no expense, even for him. It looked like it would fit like a glove and was handsomely designed. The gold cufflinks and green tie were a nice touch, adding a bit of his own personal twist on the outfit by incorporating his signature colors. It was something he would have bought for himself had he the time or inclination but he wasn't going to let Tony know that.  
  
"How did you get my measurements to have it tailored? Did you ask Thor or have you been measuring me in my sleep?" he asked disdainfully.

 

“Jarvis scanned your dimensions a while ago.” Tony said as he tucked his tie into his suit coat. “Meet me downstairs in front of the tower in fifteen minutes, there’s a limo waiting.”

 

Tony slipped his hands into his pockets and whistled his way down the hall. Stepping into the elevator, he made his way down, and found himself day dreaming about what Loki would look like in the suit.

In the months Loki had been spending at his home, Tony saw facets of his personality he never would have expected to be there. He wasn’t just some faceless villain like the stereotypical bad guys from every horrible Saturday morning cartoon. He was a person, a real person with real depth to him. In the months he’d spent with Loki, he’d seen profound hurt in the man. Hurt that went back for so long that he’d never be completely healed.

 

Tony pitied him. But beyond that, he wanted to make him feel better. His punishment from the Asgardian council might be a thousand years on Earth, but that didn’t mean Tony had to punish him too. They’d actually had a pretty nice conversation, even when Loki was still in the process of trying to rule the earth. Besides, he figured that being stripped of his Asgardian powers and left on Earth among “pitiful, sniveling worms” was enough of a punishment for the too-proud-for-his-own-good man. Tony didn’t need to be cruel to him as well. The rest of the Avengers seemed to have that covered – with the exception of Bruce, who just didn’t talk to Loki ever.

 

He waited in the limo with the door open, anticipating how Loki would look. His imaginings paled in comparison to the visage that walked through the glass doors. Donned from head to toe in an immaculate black suit, the green tie and gold cufflinks adding dimension and catching light from the street lamps as he walked. He was carrying a gold cane which Tony approved of immensely, and the billionaire couldn’t help but smile at the sleek ponytail the ex-Asgardian wore.

 

“Not a word.” Loki sneered as he ducked into the limo.

 

“How’s exquisite?” Tony teased as he closed the door and the long vehicle began to pull away.

 

"Certainly more syllables than I expected." Loki replied tersely but on the inside he felt pretty smug. Tony had an eye for aesthetics, at least when it came to people and cars, and it was nice to hear the praise. Most of his life he had been compared to Thor who was perfect by Asgardian standards. Being thin and pale and weak was hardly attractive amongst a kingdom of warriors and he had had to use his words to make any sort of impression. Being able to do the same by simply putting on a nice suit was a refreshing change of pace.  
  
"So what exactly is this expo? All Ms. Potts would tell me was that it was the embodiment of your over-developed ego which doesn't tell me much." he asked as the limo twisted and turned through the busy streets of New York.

 

“That’s basically what it is.” Tony said as he reached over to the bar. Loki shook his hands as he was offered a drink silently, so Tony sipped his own. “My company shows off what it’s being doing, where it’s going, and what it’s completed. It’s also a great big party, with drinking and dancing and other things. I actually rented a handful of bouncy castles this year, and according to Pepper, they’re a _huge_ hit.”

 

Loki rolled his eyes. He could think of a thousand better things he could be doing, at least 300 of them illegal, than going with Tony to watch him have his ego stroked. It was like Thor's presentation as heir all over again, this time without any convenient frost giants to ruin the day. Plus bouncy castles, whatever those were. He didn't really want to think about it.  
  
"And for what reason am I being forced to attend?" he asked, looking out the window as they crossed the bridge leaving the city. He could see lights in the distance and was sure that that was their destination.

 

“Oh, you’ll see.” Tony leaned back in his seat and stretched his arm languidly over the back. He smirked and turned his head to look out the window, taking another sip of his drink. “You’ll see.”

 

They sat in silence for the rest of the ride until finally the limo pulled into a private parking lot and Tony led him out and onto the fair grounds where the expo was taking place.  
  
To say it took Loki's breath away would be an understatement. Everywhere he turned there were lights of every color coming from all sorts of machinery he couldn't possibly name. The smell of food wafted through the air making his stomach ache, reminding him that he had yet to eat that day. From every booth and building noises and music flowed enveloping him in a cacophony of sound. He couldn't stop turning his head, trying to get a look at everything as they passed, his eyes wide with an almost childish wonder while keeping a firm lock on Tony so he didn't get lost. It would be far to easy to become separated in all the movement, what with at least a thousand bodies pressing in on them and brushing past on all sides.   
  
"What do you think?" he heard Tony shout over the din.  
  
"It's," he searched for the right word. "It's not like anything I've ever seen before."

 

Tony threw his head back in a laugh as he waved off yet another throng of fans who tried to impede his path. “Well yeah, where you come from, you’re like, stuck in the renaissance!” 

 

Loki stayed very close to Tony’s side all night, following him silently like a duckling, asking the occasional question. He got lost once, and found himself flooded with relief when Tony stumbled upon him minutes later. After that, it was all Loki could do to keep from holding onto the billionaire’s sleeve to keep from being separated again.

 

When it came time to walk down a red carpet, Loki looked both anxious and very uncomfortable.

 

“Look, the rest of the Avengers are here, too.” Tony said, gesturing behind him as they stood at the end of the long carpet that paved the way to a stage. Most surprisingly, even Bruce was there – looking terribly prickly in a suit tailored to fit him perfectly. “You’re just walking down the carpet right behind me, you don’t have anything to worry about. People are going to take your picture, so don’t slouch, and don’t try to hide in on yourself. You wouldn’t want pictures like _that_ circulating into the public, would you?”

 

"I would rather not have my picture taken at all." Loki lied. He didn't mind having his photo taken, actually enjoyed it more than he would admit, but being put on display like this wasn't his idea of a good time. He could fake confidence and arrogance as well as the best actor in all the realms but he wasn't about to open himself up to abuse when he didn't have to. He'd left the tower enough times to know that words weren't the only weapons humans used to express their displeasure and he was nervous about giving them any more avenues to hurt him. Especially in such a public capacity where everyone would be able to laugh at his misfortune.  
  
"Can't I meet you at the stage? This is supposed to be about the heroes anyway isn't it? or am I supposed to play the part of the conquered during your Triumph?" he asked.

 

Tony laughed. “Relax, would you?” he said. “These people are here because they’re fans. You’re as much part of the so-called triumph as we are. You play an even _more_ important role – the illusive villain! The villain role is sexy and unapproachable by regular people – and the people want to see _you_.”

 

He grabbed Loki by the shoulders and gestured down the carpet – camera flashes nearly blinding the both of them. “These people are here to see us – and you are part of us, whether you like it or not. Now put these on – ” he paused to hand Loki a pair of sunglasses that almost matched his own. “You’re gonna need them for the flashes – and march right after me, or so help me, you’ll be going first.”

 

Loki hesitated for a moment, wanting very, very much to punch Tony as hard as he could. He didn't like being paraded around. But after a moment he decided that actually starting a physical confrontation was beneath him and simply graced Tony with one last withering look before  turning his nose up and donning the sun glasses, looking as imperial and aloof as ever, letting waves of cool disdain roll off him as he followed his escort onto the carpeted path.

 

He was very surprised, however, when he heard his name called – rather _shrieked_ – from the crowds pinned behind the red velvet barriers.

 

“ _WE LOVE YOU LOKI!_ ”

 

His glasses slipped down his nose as he glanced over where his name had been called adoringly. He was quite alarmed to see a group of about ten girls that couldn’t have possibly been over 25, wearing various paraphernalia that he both admired and hated. A black tee with green and gold lettering “I <3 Villains”, a crude, plastic representation of his golden horned helmet, a white shirt with a silhouette on it in black that could have only been him, horned crown, cape and all – and other various things. He even witnessed a girl holding what appeared to be a hand-sewn blush doll of himself, crushing it against her under-developed chest.

 

“See, I told you.” Tony whispered, his hand on Loki’s shoulder.

 

He was followed up a moment later by one of the girls insisting loudly, “OH MY GOD, he LOOKED at me!”

 

This last statement was met with a quizzical raise of the eyebrow and a small smirk in the girl's direction. He nearly laughed when she seemed to swoon and fall into one of her obnoxiously loud friends. He knew he shouldn't care about what a few teenage girls thought of him but he couldn't help feeling a tiny bit smug. No one had ever swooned over him before and knowing that he had this sort of power over even a tiny percentage of the populace was certainly appealing. 

 

Tony patted the man on the shoulder. “If you wave, her panties might drop. It’d be the easiest piece of tail you ever got.” He said before walking down the carpet ahead and posing for a photograph with Steve.

 

When finally everyone was up near the stage, they were surprised when Tony beckoned them all up beside him. He finally was hooked up to a mic and he laughed at the varying looks of discomfort and shock on his companions’ faces.

 

“Look at them, they’re dumbstruck.” Tony laughed, and the audience exploded in cheers of agreement. “But really, this isn’t just about me anymore. I’m not just Iron Man anymore, I am a part of this… weird team thing. So they have spots up on this stage just like I do.”

 

He began to pace, his hands slipping nonchalantly into his trousers pockets. “This weird team thing is new to you guys too, though, right?” he paused to let the audience whoop and holler. “I mean, it’s only been – what – less than a year, right?” he looked back over his shoulder. “Right, Steve?”

 

“Umm, yes.” Steve answered awkwardly, moving too close to the mic and giving off feedback that the audience laughed at.

 

“And if _I’m_ not used to it yet, there’s no way in _hell_ you guys are used to it!” Tony laughed, gesturing out with one hand to the audience, receiving another round of cheers. “Hell, I mean I’ve been _living_ with these nut jobs for the past six months – our arch nemesis included!”

 

Loki almost sunk back behind the curtains when he was met with the most bizarre combination of cheering and energetic booing.

 

“But in all seriousness, guys, we can’t expect you to put your lives in our hands if you don’t _know_ us.” Tony said, lowering his palms to get the audience to stop making so much noise. “So for the next – I’d say hour or so – we’re going to open the floor to questions. You’d better have your best questions ready, because now is your chance.”

 

“We’re _what?_ ” Bruce hissed, looking even more uncomfortable.

 

Ignoring him, Tony continued, gesturing to his sound crew to hook up the rest of the Avengers with mics. “Starting with me, obviously.” Hands shot up all over the audience, and even some questions were shouted out immediately. Tony laughed at the enthusiasm, checking over his shoulder to see the crew pinning small microphones to the rest of his team, including Loki. “Let’s see, let’s see… no, sir, I’m not going to reenact me peeing in the suit, but it’s touching that you’re a devoted enough fan to attend this _and_ that party. Ah, how about that girl in the back – yes, with the green halter top – the blonde, right. Someone run a mic over to her, would you?”

 

The girl eagerly took the mic, holding it tightly in both hands as if she was afraid she would drop it. Loki could see the adoring expression painted on her face as she stared up at Tony with something akin to worship and found it both sickening and intriguing. Tony's reputation was well known but he had never expected women to be so open about their interest.   
  
"Um, yeah. My name is Stephanie. I was just wondering why you chose to join the Avengers? You seemed to have things pretty much under control when you were just Iron Man." she asked.

 

Tony laughed. “Steve could probably answer that question better than me.” He said with a shrug. “Not sure. Something about safety in numbers, something about teamwork, blah blah blah. But mostly because I knew I’d look pretty damn awesome next to a bunch of people who didn’t have any powers – I mean, and Thor.”

 

“Hey.” Bruce protested weakly.

 

“That’s pretty much the gist of it. Oh, and I’m sort of fond of these wierdos by now, so no, I won’t be going back to being just Iron Man. Also, thank you for not using your question to ask me if I’d sleep with you.” With a wink to her, the mic was taken away. “But seriously, I can’t take all of the questions here, so can we get one for Steve?” 

 

A young man in the audience raised his hand and was handed the mic. "Captain, we heard you were frozen for over sixty years. What's been the hardest part of adjusting to this new era?"  
  
Steve looked a little sheepish and ran a hand over his perfectly smooth blond hair, being careful not to muss it. "Computers probably. Electronics in general I guess. I'm used to having to do things and having everything right there for me is a little unnerving. And complicated. I do my best to stay away from it and the others will vouch for me on that."

 

A small ripple of laughter made its way through the audience. The questions continued on, one for Natasha, Bruce, Clint, Thor, and then back to Tony. Wash, rinse repeat. Loki was left standing off to the side awkwardly for almost half an hour as the questions cycled through. Tony had just finished explaining why the Arc Reactor did what it did when a movement caught the corner of his eye.

 

“Hey, why don’t we get a question for Loki over here?” he suggested, and the audience suddenly woke up excitedly after his long explanation of the Arc Reactor.

 

"No, no I would _hate_ to take the spotlight off you all." Loki said with an exaggerated sigh, earning a small laugh from the audience. "Please, keep telling us about your Arc Reactor. I think there are still a few people awake."  
  
There was that laughter again before the mic was passed to a college age girl in the third row. She stood and asked very quietly, "Why did you do it?" and the whole crowd was silent.  
  
Loki could feel the eyes on him, every member of the audience, not to mention the Avengers, all staring and trying to gauge his reaction. This wasn't what he had expected. All the other questions had been frivolous nonsense. But this...this was deep, personal, and while he could brush it off with a lie he knew they would know. They would be able to see it, he was certain.   
  
"Why?" he repeated, ignoring the sweat that had broken out on his forehead. "Why does anyone do anything? I was angry. I've been angry for a while and when I saw an opportunity to do something about it I took it. If you think there was some deeper meaning to it or I had some kind of grand scheme I'm sorry to disappoint. I like power and I like respect. It seemed like an easy way to get both."

 

“See, Loki’s ego is as big as mine.” Tony said suddenly, “The only difference between us being that I’ve gotten my stroked as long as I’ve lived, while he… hasn’t. So he’s got all this pent up angst.”

 

Thor suddenly said something that no one could quite understand, and he pulled his brother into a back-cracking embrace.

 

"Get off you idiot." Loki yelled, pushing his very large brother away as best he could, his face hot and red with embarrassment. "I don't need my ego stroked. I know perfectly well that I'm better than the lot of you."

 

The questions continued on like that, this time with Loki in the mix. He quickly learned that he could easily have a willing army on Earth, but that it would be comprised almost exclusively of women between the ages of fourteen and thirty.

 

When finally the hour was coming to a close, Tony apologized to the people who wouldn’t get their burning questions answered, and closed the opportunity.

 

“But there’s going to be more fun, don’t worry.” He assured the audience. “Up on this stage in about twenty minutes there’ll be karaoke! Free to do, but you’ll probably end up on the news.” He laughed when someone in the audience screamed if he was going to give it a try. “Haha, no, I’m not much of a singer.” He shook his head. “But I’m going to stay up on the stage here to watch. I don’t have any control over the rest though.” He waved his hand over his shoulder at the others.

 

Loki perked up a bit at this. He had no idea what karaoke was (he had never heard a word quite like it so he couldn't even venture a guess) but Tony had mentioned singing. Singing meant music. Happily he sidled up to Tony, grateful for a chance to relax and enjoy some entertainment instead of providing it.  
  
"I think I'll stay with you." he said, taking his place beside the billionaire.

 

“There you have it ladies and gentlemen.” Tony beamed as he stepped back to allow a crew to wheel what looked like a television set up on the stage. “Loki and myself will remain here to watch – what about the rest of you?”

 

Hawkeye and Bruce took the opportunity to make themselves scarce, and Steve and Natasha left awkwardly right after. Thor looked terribly lost, and so loudly announced that he would also be remaining right where he was. “I think I will get lost otherwise.” He said, looking out over the vast crowd, causing the people gathered to laugh.

 

“Any volunteers for first then?” Tony said as the crew scurried away, leaving the karaoke machine set up.

 

The girl who had asked the first question was the first to brave the stage, singing _I Kissed A Girl_. She wasn't terrible but Loki was glad when she finished. Another, obviously drunken singer took the stage next, his lyrics so slurred no one was quite sure what he was singing followed by a rather talented boy who did a rendition of _Come Fly With Me_ that almost had Loki swaying with the music.  
  
By the time the fourth brave soul took up the mic Loki had a pretty good idea of what was going on and was having trouble hiding his excitement. While some of the singers would be better off keeping their lack of talent to themselves he found himself enjoying the way new voices changed some of his favorite and least favorite songs. He had never known that anyone could perform for others, even if the performances were limited, and by the time the fifth performer had left the stage he was itching to give it a try himself.

 

Tony watched and enjoyed as person after person came and left the stage. A young man who decided he wanted to give _Bad Romance_ a try, and a group of girls in their late teens who gave a silly act to _Walk Like An Egyptian_ came and went. A woman in her early thirties gave a chilling rendition of _Rolling in the Deep_ , followed by a man singing soulfully to _Harder to Breathe_. After a young woman with very little talent left the stage when she finished _Somebody I Used to Know_ , Tony looked over at Loki with a grin to see what he was thinking.

 

However, instead of the indifference he was expecting from the ex-Asgardian, he was surprised to see him focusing with rapt attention at the people singing now, a couple of men singing _Hey Soul Sister_ together.

 

“Loki, you look like you’re enjoying yourself.” Tony chuckled, making sure to turn off his mic before he spoke. “You wanna give it a shot?” 

Loki snapped out of his reverie, turning his wide eyed attention on Tony as if he had forgotten the other man was there at all. Which, if he was being completely honest, he had. His attention had been so focused on the music he had forgotten anyone might be watching _him_. He felt his face heat up as he realized how transparent and idiotic he must have looked.  
  
"I'm far too much of a coward to open myself up to such criticism Stark." He replied, lacking some of his usual conviction. He _did_ want to try, was almost desperate to, but he wouldn't admit it.

 

“Oh, come on.” Tony said, not buying it. “You might not get another chance. I know hos much you like earth music, this is a great chance to show your appreciation. Isn’t there a single song you’d like to show the people you can sing? You could really express yourself with this.”

 

Loki hadn't considered it like that. He had spent his entire life fighting to be heard, a feat that was made next to impossible by his imprisonment on Earth. Here was his chance to let hundreds of people hear him, even if he was using someone else's words.  
  
"There is one song I might like to try." He said thoughtfully.

 

“There you go.” Tony thumped him on the back and pushed him forward as the two men made their way off the stage. “Go for it, man.”

 

Loki stumbled but managed to catch himself before he fell. He shot Tony an indignant glare as he righted himself before striding out onto the stage. He could hear murmurs beginning at the front of the crowd and did his best to tune them out. It was one song. Just one song to prove he could. All he had to do was find it.  
  
He scrolled through the song options, feeling more and more nervous with each discarded choice. It had to be there, it simply had to.  
  
Then there it was. Loki exhaled an audible sigh of relief as he selected his song and the familiar music began to play.

 

Tony cocked a brow when the upbeat rock music began to play. It was… it was _almost_ familiar, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. It sounded like a cover of a song he’d heard before, once a long time ago.

 

It wasn’t until Loki opened his mouth and began to sing the words did he suddenly realize what song the ex-Asgardian had chosen. With a smirk, Tony held back the urge to laugh out loud. How positively _fitting_.

 

“ _I admit that in the past I’ve been a nasty,_ ” he began, his voice strong and loud over the music – without shouting. It sounded as if he’d practiced this song several times in the past. “ _They weren’t kidding when they called me kind of strange,_ ”

 

At this point, the rest of the audience recognized the song he was singing. A hush fell as all ears turned, stunned at the subject matter of the song. It almost felt like it was too soon for Loki to be making jokes about what he’d done, but at the same time, the fact that he was willing to make light of his situation caused an unbidden thrill to ripple through the audience.

 

“ _But you’ll find that nowadays, I’ve mended all my ways, repented, seen the light and made a change._ ”

 

Tony was surprised. Loki appeared to be making these lyrics up on his own, because he could clearly see the lyrics scrolling across the small screen in front of the man, something about “witch” and “switch” which he’d effortlessly substituted.

 

“ _And I fortunately know a little magic. It’s a talent that I always have possessed. Now here lately – please don’t laugh – I use it on behalf, of the miserable lonely and depressed… pathetic!_ ”

 

Tony was bobbing his head in time to the music, quite surprised at the level of conviction with which Loki sang. He, along with almost every person in the audience, was caught completely off guard by the performance. Passionate and strong, it would have kept everyones’ attention rapt even if he _didn’t_ have a voice that could sing a beast to sleep. Of course, it only helped that he did.

 

“ _Poor unfortunate souls! In pain, in need! They come flocking to me crying, will you help us pretty please? And I help them? Yes indeed._ ”

 

Tony laughed now. The thought of Loki helping _anyone_ with his powers – even if he did still have them – was laughable. He knew Loki too well for that, all selfishness and bitterness, he would never take the time to help other people. Not _these_ people, especially, not “humans.”

 

“ _Poor unfortunate souls. It’s sad, but true. This one longing to be thinner, that one wants to get the girl, and I help them? Yes I do!_ ”

 

By the time the second verse had started, Tony was grinning from ear to ear. He’d never seen Loki open up like this, gripping the mic as if he were afraid it would drift away from him. He was so desperate to be heard, and the audience was stunned into silence as he made his way through the second verse, talking about the “unimportance of talking.”

 

Tony knew this was untrue, Loki valued his voice above all other things. But that was how the song went, and it was hard to find a song that someone else wrote that would fit him perfectly. No, he would have to write his own songs for that. He looked over and laughed as he saw cameras giving a live feed to the news channels. It would soon be all over the planet – the Asgardian who had tried to rule the world singing a Disney song!

 

When the song finally spluttered to an end with a ringing guitar riff, Loki released the mic back onto the stand with a sigh. The audience was completely silent. People had been watching with rapt attention as far back as five hundred people, even people running booths had ceased their business for a few minutes to watch the performance.

 

The silence erupted into applause when finally someone in the front row began to clap. People all across the audience screamed themselves hoarse, still more chanted Loki’s name. Tony walked up beside him and clapped a hand to his shoulder with a broad smile.

 

“How was that?” he asked with a laugh, looking over at the expression of wonder on Loki’s face.

 

Loki barely heard him. The sound of the crowd was deafening, ringing in his ears, drowning out anything but his own name, being chanted by so many voices. He could feel the adrenaline singing in his veins and thought he might fall over from the force of it. The feeling was more intoxicating than any liquor and more stimulating than the strongest drug. The praise, the cheers and his own emotional response filled him to the brim, making him feel as though he might burst at any second.   
  
One thought swam in his head, that this was for him. All for him. These people were shouting _his_ name, screaming and cheering their adoration for _him_ as so many had once cheered for Thor. It was the sound of adoration, of love, almost of worship. He would never tire of this sound. If he had to listen to it every day for the rest of his immortal life he would never grow bored with it.   
  
"Do they always react like this?" he asked, a little breathless and fighting to suppress a grin that would not be beaten back.

 

“Only when the person singing does really well.” Tony said, thumping the thrumming ex-Asgardian on the shoulder again. “They like you. Listen to that, they might rattle the ceiling right off the complex with that cheering.” Leading him away, Tony couldn’t help but laugh at Loki’s reluctance. He obviously didn’t want to go, and the audience cheered him even louder as he departed. “You want to go home? You’re going to get _swarmed_ if you don’t go right to the limo.”

 

"That might not be so terrible." the villain muttered, glancing back over his shoulder. He would have loved to stay and bask in his own glory, soaking up as much of the attention as he could. Odin knew, he wouldn't be getting any once he returned to the tower. He needed to savor this feeling, so he could call on it again when the loneliness began to get to him and his own anger had him climbing the walls.  
  
"What did you think?" he asked suddenly, turning to Tony. If he wasn't allowed the love of the crowd at least he could enjoy hearing Tony's opinion of him. "What did you think of my song?"

 

Tony blinked as he waved away a few people who had started to wander a little too close, unbidden. “What did I think… of your song?” he shook his head a little. “Well, you’re a good singer – a _really_ good singer, Loki,”

 

“I sense a but,” Loki frowned.

 

“But… it isn’t _your_ song.” Tony continued. “You didn’t write it. The people liked your singing, but the words weren’t yours. So I liked your singing, but I can’t tell you I liked your song.”

 

"I changed the words." Loki replied but he could tell by the look on Tony's face that that wasn't going to cut it.

"Sure." Tony agreed. "But that doesn't make it yours. You made it fit you bu you can't say its your song unless you wrote it all. Even when people remix a song they don't call it their own."

Loki wasn't sure what remix meant but he understood what Tony was saying. If he wanted a song to be truly his, and for people to love more than justt his voice, he was going to have to do more. The words must be his as much as the voice.

He had a lot of work to do.


	2. Chapter 2

“Wait, you want _what?_ ” Tony followed Loki through the hall of his tower as he flitted this way and that, peering through windows. “Are you _serious?_ ”

 

“Why would I joke?” Loki said flatly as he jotted down a note on the pad he was holding, surveying the city out the window.

 

“You are the _trickster_ god.” Tony pointed out, trying to step in front of the ex-Asgardian to stop him from continuing down the hall.

 

“Not anymore.” Loki pointed out, side-stepping the man. “I’m not joking.”

 

Tony stood in shock as he watched the man walk down the hall as princely as can be. “But a _pop star_ Loki, seriously?!”

 

"Why not?" He asked when Tony had caught up to him. "I need something to do while I'm trapped here. I have the talent and, as you pointed out, I already have adoring fans."

He could see that Tony wasn't buying it but he could hardly tell him the real reason. He couldn't explain how those few minutes on stage had been the best moments of his life. Tony had always been idolized and adored, he had always had people looking up to him and putting him on a pedestal. He would never understand what it was like to have to fight for attention or the exhilaration when everyones eyes were finally on you.

"I don't need your permission Stark." He said finally. "I let you know of my plans so you didn't think I'd run off. That is all."

Tony shook his head with quiet laughter. “I guess you don’t need my permission, you’re right. But there’s a lot more to being a music star than getting up on a stage and singing. Do you even have any songs written?”

 

“Three, actually.” Loki answered without missing a beat.

 

“Alright, but do you know the rest of the process? You need a venue, you need lighting, speakers, a road crew, you need an agent. You can’t just jump up somewhere and start singing and expect people to come and watch. You need _funding_.” Tony said, crossing his arms over his chest, already anticipating what Loki was going to say.

 

He hadn't considered that. He had a small allowance that Tony alloted him but it wouldn't be nearly enough for all the things Tony was suggesting. Venues, an agent, all those things sounded fairly costly.  
  
If only he knew of a billionaire with more money that he knew what to do with.  
  
Turning to Tony he put on his most innocent and charming smile, the one he used to use on Odin when he had been caught causing any real trouble  
  
"Then why don't you sponsor me?" He asked.

 

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Tony sighed, “Loki, this is ridiculous. It’s one thing to sing karaoke, but being a music celebrity is a _lot_ of work, with not always a huge pay off. Plus, if I take on another project, Pepper’s head will explode. I’m doing so much already, and most of it she ends up doing anyway. I can’t be a music agent, too, I don’t even know the first thing about it! Why do you even want this anyway, just because you can sing? Just because you’re good at something doesn’t necessarily mean you should do it for a living. I mean look at me, I’m not a professional prostitute, am I?”

 

"Its different. I couldn't even begin to explain-" loki started, his smile slipping. He had to. If he didn't Tony would never agree. He had to tell him, holding nothing back. Maybe, just maybe, if he did Tony would take pity on him.  
  
Swallowing his pride he closed his eyes, collecting himself before baring his soul. "You have spent your entire life knowing what was expected of you. You knew, from the moment you were born, where your place was. You knew you were going to be great. That people loved you and expected you to succeed. I never had that. Thor always had the spotlight. He was the one they cheered for. He was the one our people wanted to talk to, the one they adored. I spent mmy entire life in his very large shadow.  
  
"But when I was on stage it was different. It was like Thor never existed. I was the center of everyones attention. They wanted me." He smiled weakly. "I can't give that up. I need it."

 

Tony re-crossed his arms as he listened, his expression hard. When Loki looked up at him with hopeful eyes, he melted a little.

 

“So this is an ego trip, is it?” he asked evenly.

 

Loki’s hands clenched in anger. "If that's how you want to see it. Yes, I'm stroking my ego. I think I deserve it. I deserve respect. I couldn't get it as a prince, or a king, or an invader. I will find it somehow, whether you choose to help me or not."  
  
He couldn't even look at Tony. Stupid, to think this man or anyone else would have any compassion for him. Humans could be as cruel as Asgardians when they chose to be.

 

Tony laughed. “Well, I can’t deny you an ego trip.” He said suddenly. “I have no right to deny you – I’m the king of ego myself, most people will say. Besides, you’re right, the people did really love listening to you. Alright, fine. I’ll be your agent. But you have to understand that this will take time. Not only will I have to figure out _how_ to be an agent for a music star, we also have to get you known. Advertising, sponsors, a venue, and the like. Don’t think that this is all going to come to fruition tomorrow. Or even next week. You might be able to get going by the end of the month, provided I can get the ball rolling. It’ll give you plenty of time to write songs.”

 

Waving dismissively over his shoulder as he walked away, Tony slipped his hands into his pockets. He wanted desperately to see the look of shock on Loki’s face melt into thankfulness, but he knew the proud ex-Asgardian would hide his joy if Tony was looking.

 

In all honesty, he’d agreed simply because he had gotten a thrill from watching Loki’s face light up when the audience was watching and cheering for him. He _did_ deserve respect, despite the fact that he’d originally gone about it in all the wrong ways. If he was Loki’s agent, then he could help guide him towards the _right_ way to earn respect and love. If he was Loki’s agent, then he could help him achieve his dream in a way that wouldn’t make everyone angry.

 

As soon as Loki was sure Tony wasn't looking he slipped into his room and fell on his bed, smiling even more broadly than he had when he had gotten off stage. He was so excited he had to fight the urge to kick his legs and shout with joy. He had an agent. He had funding. This was really going to happen. He was going to be a star.  
  
He didn't care that it was going to be slow. He didn't care that he would have to build up to actual stardom. He didn't care that it was going to take time. Time, luckily, was something he had plenty of.  
  
It occurred to him that he should thank Tony. The hero was showing astounding faith in him. He ought to do something to show he appreciated it. He just didn't know how. Thanks had never been his strength. He had never had much to thank anyone for.  
  
He couldn't say it. He wouldn't know how. But he could show it. He could show Tony by taking this as seriously as he took all his other plans. More so even.  
  
With that thought he sat up and started to write.

 

===

 

“You’re going to help Loki… turn into a pop star?” Bruce reviewed. It was the third time it’d been said, but it didn’t help. It still sounded absolutely ridiculous.

 

“Yes, I am.” Tony said again as he turned off the welding torch he’d been using. “For the last time, yes.”

 

“Is that wise?” Jarvis suddenly asked from overhead.

 

Tony groaned and put down the torch, removing the goggles he’d been wearing and tossing them on the table. “I wouldn’t have agreed if I didn’t think it was a good idea.” He muttered, scanning the schematics in front of him.

 

“But… _why?_ ” Bruce asked.

 

Sighing, Tony rolled up the schematics for the time being. He wasn’t going to get any work done until he’d gotten this out of the way, that much was clear.

 

“Because he’s desperate for attention. Thor was the favorite child, and he didn’t get any love or consideration from anyone his whole life growing up, and he needs it now. He went looking for it in all the wrong ways before, but that was because he was never taught _how_ he was supposed to be looking for it. This will be good for him. He’ll get the attention he’s been craving from childhood, and no one will hate him for it. This is _healthy_. He’s going to be getting _out of the tower_. He might _meet people_. He’s been banished to earth here to learn the error of his ways, but that won’t happen if he doesn’t _understand_ how things work here. Which won’t happen if he doesn’t leave the tower! I’m killing two birds with one stone here, Bruce, don’t you see? This is a _good idea_.” He unrolled the blueprint again and began to trace lines with his finger. He didn’t look up again when he spoke, “Besides, you weren’t there. You didn’t see the look on his face when the people were cheering him. He looked close to tears, he was so happy. I’ve never seen him look so happy.”

 

Around the corner, Loki huffed. He had _not_ almost cried. He had been happy, sure, but near to tears was an overstatement. An overstatement that was sure to ruin his image if he allowed it to continue. He would have to do something to restore his reputation later. Speaking up now would not only give away one of his favorite hiding places but might change Tony's mind. After all, he was only doing this because he thought it might change him somehow. If Stark decided it wasn't worth it he was out an agent.

Loki was about to leave when he heard the lab door open, followed by the unmistakable sound of heels on concrete. Ms. Potts, and it sounded like she was in a hurry.

"Have you lost your mind?" Pepper asked, coming to rest in front of Tony. Her cheeks were flushed and her usually perfectly ordered papers were in disarray. "Do you have any idea how many calls, emails and bills I have just gotten about this new project of yours? What are you thinking Tony? Are you trying to kill me?"

“Whoa, Pepper, breathe.” Tony laughed, holding up his hands in surrender. “I didn’t give anyone your contact info, that’s just people being used to you doing things for me. I fully intend to deal with this project on my own. If people forward things to you, forward them to me. You’ve got enough on your plate.”

 

"Tony, you manage him, I manage you. That means I now have to manage you managing him. Which means I manage both of you. And if you're going to be using your funds, or this Tower, I have to sign off on it. Even if I'm not directly involved I now have twice the paper work, plus I have to make sure you don't do something stupid and ruin your image because I'm also your PR..." Pepper explained, speaking faster and faster as she went and growing so flustered she dropped a stack of papers.

Bruce suddenly stepped forward and picked up the scattered papers, banging the edges together on a desk before setting them down.

 

Tony rolled his eyes when he stepped in front of Pepper and cupper her face, turning back to his own work.

 

“Pepper, hey,” Bruce soothed, as she looked at him borderline hysterically. “You are an amazing woman. And you are more than capable of doing what you do – that’s why you do it. I’m not happy about Loki turning into a pop star any more than you, but you know Tony. Once he has an idea stuck in his head, it’s way too thick for it to find its way back out. We’re just going to have to breathe and bear with it.”

 

“Get a room.” Tony said as he pulled goggles back down over his eyes.

 

Pepper sighed and leaned forward, placing her head on Bruce's shoulder. Around the corner Loki rolled his eyes. So easily angered, yet so easily placated. Women, it seemed, were one of the few things that were the same in any realm.

 

"He's an idiot." Pepper said, relaxing minutely against her boyfriend.

 

“Be nice to Bruce. He’s trying.” Tony said, and drowned out any chance of her responding with the noise of his welding torch.

 

“If he sets himself on fire, give it a minute or two before putting him out, alright Jarvis?" Pepper said to the AI before giving Bruce a quick peck on the cheek and leaving the lab.

 

That seemed to be the end of the matter. Loki was sure there would be more discussion with the rest of the Avengers later but for now the lab had grown quiet except for the sound of Tony's work. How boring. He waited another minute before slipping silently back through the emergency exit.

 

========

 

Tony hadn’t been kidding. It took a _long_ time before he finally approached Loki with a date for his first ever _real_ musical performance. And even then, it was a month and a half away.

 

“I told you, you have to be patient.” Tony said, hands on his hips as he observed Loki’s crestfallen expression. “This was never going to happen overnight. I’m sure by now you have plenty of songs though, don’t you?”

 

"Fifteen." Loki replied. He had found that once he started he couldn't stop. He had been so angry for so long that he had seemingly endless inspiration. He sometimes woke up in the night, waking from a nightmare or some memory based dream, a whole song already forming in his head.

 

He didn't keep everything though. A number of drafts were discarded as too personal or judged too poorly written to even consider sharing with the public. All in all he must have thrown out at least thirty possibilities, leaving him with his meager reserves.

 

“Alright… so you have lyrics. Do you have _music?_ ” Tony asked, hands still on his hips.

 

"Ï.." Loki looked away. flushing. He could hear the music in his head when he wrote the songs but he had never thought to write it down. Even if he had he wouldn't know how. He had never seen a piece of written music in his life.

 

"I know how the songs are _supposed_ to sound." he muttered, shifting uncomfortably.

 

Tony sighed. “Jarvis, download a music program into your database.” He cast his eyes to the ceiling. “And help out Loki. You have a little under two months to crank out music to match his lyrics.”

 

“I won’t fail you, sir.” Jarvis replied cheerily.

 

“There you have it.” Tony gestured over his head. “Jarvis will help you. Go nuts, kids. I’ve got some business to attend to now.”

 

For the next month Loki didn't leave his room. Meals were brought to him and he left his tray outside the door when he was done. Working with Jarvis was not unpleasant as the AI was always courteous and had no problems following Loki's orders, but writing music was hard. He had to learn to think in scales and notes, not just sounds. There was a whole new vocabulary to be learned, then to apply. It was an endless cycle, writing then listening, erasing and remixing, trying again and again to get it right.

 

Then finally the big day was there. Before he even realized what was happening he was being handed from stylist to stylist, having his hair, make up and clothes adjusted until he was sure there was nothing left they could possibly do that hadn't already been tried. He didn't have a moment to breathe before he was expected behind the curtain, the opening act finishing their last song while he peaked around the corner at his audience, mostly teenage girls and what he hoped were their mothers, not more of his fans.

 

"How you feeling?" a voice said behind him, making the ex-god jump.

 

He turned, looking indignantly at his smug manager. "Do not sneak up on me Stark. I am trying to concentrate."

 

Which wasn't a lie. He was trying to concentrate, on a great number of things. Not throwing up or running away being the first. Remembering his cues and song order following.

 

“Hey, relax. You’re going to do fine. If you’re anything like you were at the expo, it’s going to be great.” He peered around the corner of the curtain with a chuckle. “I guess the advertising really paid off. What a crowd, Christ.” Turning again to look at Loki, his smile faded when he observed the nervous expression on his face. “Hey, hey, come on.” He said, taking the smaller man by the shoulders. “You’re going to be _great_. You were before, and you will be now. Of all the things you’ve been through, singing in front of people should be the _smallest_ potatoes you’ve ever faced.”

 

"I don't know what potatoes have to do with anything." Loki said, pulling away from Tony too look out at the crowded theatre again. "But I have never addressed such a large crowd. Before the expo the only time I had thought I would have to would be when I was king and giving speeches. And in that situation what they think of you doesn't really matter."

 

Tony frowned for a moment.

 

“Alright, fine. I’ll roll up the carpet, we’ll take down the lights, refund every ones’ tickets and tell them all the show’s over, tell them to go home, alright? You’re obviously _way_ too nervous to do this, so let’s just go home and you can go back to your room and fantasize about what it _would_ have been like in a perfect world had you gone out on that stage. Okay?”

 

"I didn't say I wasn't going to do it." Loki snapped, his posture straightening and his eyes defiant. "Don't underestimate me. And don't make assumptions. Everyone does and they're always wrong.”

 

Tony smirked, quite satisfied with the level of conviction in Loki’s voice. That was exactly what he’d wanted to hear from the ex-Asgardian.

 

“So," Loki suddenly asked, "Will you be watching from back here or do you have seats in the audience?"

 

But then Tony’s face fell. “Actually, I can’t watch anywhere.” He said, “I’ve got way too much to do as your agent. I have to make sure everything’s running smoothly, I’ve got to check in with this that and the other thing, make sure the merch booth is up and ready to go by the end of the show, I have to sign contracts, print photos, write up record deals… I don’t have the time to stand and watch you like the audience does. But don’t worry, I’ll end up hearing all your songs eventually.”

 

Loki's face fell. He didn't know why but he felt disappointed. He wanted Tony to watch him. Maybe it was because Tony had been willing to do this. Maybe it was because he had been the only one to show any faith in him. Maybe he wanted to prove that it hadn't all been in vain. That all the time he had put in was worth it.  
  
Yeah. That must be it.  
  
Tony smiled sympathetically. “Hey, don’t look so down. I’m only one guy, you have a million fans out there, you literally _sold out_ this stadium. You should be proud! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a budding rock star to introduce.”

 

The explosion of cheers that echoed through the area was deafening when Tony stepped boldly out from behind the curtains, hands raised. He turned on a mic on his collar and addressed the audience, who immediately began to chant Loki’s name.

 

“Listen to this, why am I even here?” he laughed, “You all know who you’re waiting for, you’ve done my job for me! _Are you ready to become part of Loki’s Army?!_ ”

 

The response was earth-shattering.

 

Backstage Loki grinned. Loki's Army? Was Stark introducing him or trying to insight a riot? Either way it had a nice ring to it, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't like it. Or the applause that followed. All those people had paid to come see him perform, to watch him, to worship him. He couldn't have asked for more.  
  
I can do this. I deserve this. he thought. He had worked and suffered for this moment. He was ready.  
  
 _Now or never._

 

Tony stepped back and ushered Loki into position, giving him one last thump on the back for good luck, and disappeared behind the stage to do what he needed to get done.

 

He had so much to do. Why had his feet stopped?

 

The opening to Loki’s first song was far too intriguing. The synthesized beats combined with the quiet tapping on a cymbal made Tony pause and look back over his shoulder. Loki was standing in the middle of the stage clinging to the mic like it would save his life, donned in gold and black and looking every part of a rocker. His sleek hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, giving Tony full view of the back of his long, pale neck. The sight of him made a wave of… _something_ pull through Tony’s body, and he took a step closer.

 

When Loki began to sing, Tony was entranced. There was nothing more than listening to him sing, listening to those terrible, wonderful, _heartbreaking_ lyrics.

 

“ _I'm creeping my way out so you can see me,  
I'm crawling my way around this horrifying city_

  
 _You all stop and stare, I don't need your pity  
I'm living my life in this hell!_ ”

 

Tony couldn't say he knew exactly what Loki was feeling, but he’d garnered enough knowledge about what Loki thought of his time on Earth to make it clear that he meant every word he was singing passionately into the mic. _  
_  
“ _Now I'm crawling away cause the stress has killed me_  
 _I feel like I fell from a 10 story building_

  
 _Best run and hide before the devil starts forbidding_  
 _I'm living my life in this hell!_ ”

 

Tony couldn’t believe it possible, but he was _more_ impressed with Loki than he’d been before. These words were _his_ , they were his life, his experiences, his emotions. He was letting the people know how he felt, and they were loving every syllable of it. Tony wasn’t sure why he felt so strongly about it, but the fact that they were enjoying Loki made his heart soar.  
  
“ _I'm not one for the crowd to see_  
 _It's just me_  
 _It's just..._  
  
 _Just a little more, come on and satisfy me!_  
 _Just a little more, come on and terrify me!_  
 _Just a little more and I'll be done with it,_  
 _Take my life and then I'll feel okay!_ ”

 

The way Loki punctuated his words had shivers running down Tony’s back. He was filled with an emotion that took him a few dreadful seconds to identify. There was no proper word for it, excitement, joy, euphoria, all paled in comparison to the _feeling_. It felt like Tony was standing there, right in the middle of having sex with Loki’s words.

 

The way he sang, the way he put every ounce of his breath into his words, the rhythm of it and the drum beats all made him feel like he was completely naked making love to every sentence that rolled unbidden out of Loki’s mouth.  
  
“ _Cut it out of my mouth,_  
 _Put my tongue on a pole,_  
 _I won't sing any more,_  
 _I'm losing control._  
  
 _Cut it out of my mouth,_  
 _Put my tongue on a pole,_  
 _Take the air from my lungs,_  
 _Take the heart from my soul!_ ”  
  
Tony stood there, unable to move as Loki sang, feeling his chest tighten and his pelvis react quite strongly. It couldn’t possibly be sexual attraction, it was just a reaction to the music. The pounding bass that sounded like a pulse beat, the kind that resonated in his chest, in his groin, in his throat, in his ears…

When the song came to a dramatic and somewhat creepy finish with misplaced, warbling carnival music, Tony finally felt like he could _breathe_ again. He’d been perfectly content to drown under that song, but now the spell was broken and he could take in a gasp.

 

It wasn’t until Loki turned and looked over his shoulder right at him that he realized he’d been standing there for an entire song, when he’d had things to do! Blinking and shaking his head furiously, he made a hasty retreat before he could get sucked into another song.

 

 _Don't smile, don't smile._ Never in his life had Loki had such trouble maintaining a facial expression. He was still on stage and suddenly grinning would ruin the effect of his last song. But he was so happy, it was nearly impossible to beat back to urge.  
  
It was because Tony had seen him. He didn't know why but he knew that that was what was making him so happy. Not all the people cheering his name, but the fact that Tony had stayed. Even more than that, Stark had clearly liked the song, though 'like' seemed too weak a word. Loved was better. He had seen how Tony's eyes had been fixed on him, blown wide in wonder. There was no mistaking the look of amazement on his face before he had hurried away.  
  
Seeing that look, knowing that he had been able to draw out that sort of emotion in a man like Tony Stark made the wait worth it. Sure, the cheering crowd was great, but seeing someone he knew and (though he would never admit it) respected fall in love with his music was more of a rush than any number of nameless fans.  
  
His next song started and Loki turned back to the crowd, ready to start again. He knew Tony wouldn't be able to listen to this one but he didn't care. He had proven  himself, that was all that mattered.


	3. Chapter 3

_Scandalous_ , the papers said.

 

 _An outrage!_ Still others claimed.

 

_Traitorous!_

_Treacherous!_

_Tony Stark, enemy of the planet!_

Tony was getting wave upon wave upon wave of hate-mail, and was beginning to feel the stress of doing everything in his power to keep any of it from trickling down to Loki. He’d been floating around the tower on a permanent high for weeks since his first real gig, and Tony didn’t want to do a thing to shatter that. After all, placated Loki was easier to deal with.

 

Tony was being attacked from all sorts of groups – almost every single one of them being religious – calling him a traitor to planet earth for helping a monster like Loki gain fame and adoration.

 

Loki tried to _enslave the human race_ , and here Tony was trying to help him become loved by being something as petty as a _rock star_.

 

On the one hand, Tony could understand where they were coming from. Without all the facts, looking at it as black and white (as most religious organizations do) it looked like he was helping the world’s number one villain achieve totally undeserved stardom.

 

But on the other hand, Tony couldn’t just walk around preaching about how Loki had daddy issues, and that he _does_ need the fame to keep him from starting another attempt at world domination. It wasn’t his right to go and tell the world Loki’s personal life story.

 

He fought and fought against the people who were determined to bring Loki down, take him off his pedestal, and make sure he never sang again. He felt a little withered every time he got a scathing email from someone telling him how he was betraying his species by letting scum like Loki do anything but hide in a darkened room for all of eternity.

 

It seemed like the majority of people against Loki wanted him to be locked away forever, rather than actually learn from his mistakes.

 

But every time he withered, he was matched with a pump of joy when he saw Loki. Drifting around on cloud _ten_ , he was humming to himself everywhere he went like a lovesick Disney princess. Tony knew it was worth it every time he saw Loki’s face.

 

Loki probably never would have noticed if it hadn't been for Pepper. He didn't notice much at all these days, being so wrapped up in himself. He had never been this happy or this proud of himself in his life. Even the rude looks from the ridiculous 'heroes 'he was forced to share a home with didn't bother him.  
  
Then he saw how Pepper was looking at Tony. The way she would bite her lip and furrow her brow when he walked by. If there was something wrong with him Pepper was sure to notice it, before anyone else did. Probably before Tony even knew himself. And seeing her looking made Loki look too. At first it was hard to pinpoint anything. Tony looked like he always did. But the more he looked the more he saw it. There were lines around his eyes and he would sometimes get this far away look, like he wasn't really there.  
  
It didn't make sense. It wasn't as if anything had changed. He was still rich, his company was doing well, and he had endless friends and more-than-friends. The only thing that had changed was his new job as Loki's manager.

 

That was what really made him worry. If it was Tony's work for him that was causing this stress...But he couldn't ask. He didn't want to. Because if Tony confirmed that this was his fault then they were one short conversation from it all ending. And he couldn't let that happen.

 

It wasn’t until he found Tony nearly collapsed in his office, hanging his head in his hands that Loki felt something he hadn’t been sure he could feel at all. Guilt.

 

But still he would not approach. It was the selfishness in him, clinging to his pride and self-worth. It was the only thing giving his life meaning. Who cared if it gave Tony a few extra bags under his eyes?

 

Tony just so happened to look up at that very moment and locked eyes with Loki, whose expression was trapped somewhere between concern and reproach.

 

“Loki!” he said brightly, standing up so fast that his desk jerked when it hit his thighs. “Did you need me for something?”

 

He buried his stress and anger at the arrogant, ignorant world, quickly hitting the screen saver button just in case Loki approached, so he wouldn’t fall witness to the most recent onslaught of angry emails. Forcing a smile on his face, he tried to make it look like everything was alright in the world.

 

Loki studied Tony for a few moments, trying to measure that smile and that too happy tone. It would be so easy to feign ignorance, to pretend he didn't notice how forced that expression was or how quickly he had moved to hide whatever was on his computer. It would be so easy to act as if nothing was wrong. That was what Tony wanted after all.  
  
"I was just wondering when my next show might be." he asked calmly, watching Tony for any increase in those subtle signs of distress.

 

“Oh, of course.” Tony sad, sitting back down at his computer and minimizing the email window with a flash. “Your next event is in four weeks at the Juno Coliseum. Haha, you’re already down to 50 tickets left out of 50,000. Want me to up the prices on the last few tickets? People will have to pay extra for those if they still want to get in.”

 

His expression wavered minutely and he made a quick mental note to up the security for this next event. The probability that some dumbass extremist would do something drastic to either hurt him, Loki or his fans was uncomfortably high.

 

Loki nodded. He had seen the waver but didn't want to address it. Pretending things were normal was too easy. Even if he did ask Tony probably wouldn't answer him. Why would he? They weren't friends. They barely spoke unless it was business. Tony had no reason to confide in him.

Feeling a little low Loki stood, muttering a quiet thank you before exiting the office. At the door he met Pepper who greeted him in passing as she slipped into the office. Outside Loki flattened himself against the wall. Maybe now he could get answers without opening himself up to the possibility of emotional backlash.  
  
"Alright Tony," Pepper said, stopping in front of his desk. "What''s going on with you?"

 

“What?” Tony asked innocently, grabbing a twizzler from a cup on his desk and biting into it. He extended a second out to her, but was declined when she held up her hand. “Whaaat,” he repeated when she gave him a stern look.

 

"You've been quiet, stressed, and just all around preoccupied with something. At that meeting yesterday it was like you weren't even there. You didn't say a word and usually we can't get you to shut up." She said, coming to sit on the edge of the desk. "I've tried to keep my peace on this and let you handle it yourself but it doesn't look like anything is going to get resolved. Now I want you to tell me what the problem is."

 

“There’s no problem.” Tony insisted, moving to open a game of collapse on his computer. “I’m totally peachy.”

 

She reached over and grabbed his hand. "Don't try to lie to me Tony, I've known you too long for it to work. Does this have something to do with Loki?"

 

“Oy, you made the screen fill up.” Tony muttered as the game ended, and he still avoided Pepper’s eye.

 

"Answer me Tony." She said, giving him her best and most intimidating glare.

 

Tony sighed, leaning back in his chair and running his hands over his face. He said absolutely nothing, and opted to instead maximize the window of hate mail he’d hidden before, exposing it all to Pepper.

 

“And hundreds more like it.” He muttered after a moment of silence as Pepper’s eyes scanned the screen.

 

"This is horrible." Pepper said when she finally tore her eyes away from the screen. "And you've been hiding all this from him?"

 

His hands still over his face, Tony just nodded silently.

 

"Well you can't tell him. If he knows he'll be heart broken. And we all saw how that ended last time." she said, standing up to pace in front of the desk. "But we can't have you dealing with all this. Why don't you redirect the email? All the ones meant for him or you can go through me first. I'll filter out the useless ones and then you'll only get what might be important for your work or that he might want to hear."

 

“ _Oh_ no.” Tony said abruptly, slamming his hands on the desk. “You deal with _enough_ bullshit. No, I got this. It’s just… I got this.”

"Tony you look like you haven't slept in two days." she chided. "You do not "got this". You need a plan."

 

“I haven’t been reading them anymore. I just delete them if they’ve got all-caps-rage titles. Once and a while people are polite about voicing their concerns… but those are few and far between.” Tony sighed, deleting a chunk of the emails.

 

"You can't just avoid the problem though." Pepper replied. "It's not going to get any better if things keep going like this. Especially if all his songs are as angry as they were at his last concert. If they continue to see him directing his anger at them they're going to respond in kind."  
  
Outside Loki sighed. Was that what this was all about? Some angry letters based on his songs? Were people really foolish enough to think he was angry at them personally? Yes he did hate man kind but that wasn’t where the venom in his songs came from. Though maybe he hadn't been very clear on that point.

 

Tony laughed. “So you think Loki should write poppy songs instead? That isn’t going to happen. He’s a very angry person, and musical artists draw from their experiences. I don’t think a single good thing have ever happened to that poor man.”

"I understand that. And this," she gestured to the computer. "Is what he deals with everyday. We know that. But no one else does. No one else knows how hard things have been for him. If they did they wouldn't be so quick to judge."

 

“Humans are… fickle. And judgmental. And he has every right to hate humanity. Hell, I hate humanity.” Tony deleted another chunk of the hateful emails. “But this… he doesn’t need this. If he saw this… it’d just crush him. I’ll have a talk with him… maybe I can convince him to write a few less angry songs for his next show.”

 

"Or maybe not so generally angry." Pepper suggested. "He had a right to be angry, the issue is who he is angry at."  
  
That got Loki thinking. He had been angry for a long time. Longer than he had been on Earth. He didn't usually like to dig into those feelings but...he owed Tony. He could at least try.

 

Tony sighed again, deleting the last large chunk of emails. "Yeah. Maybe... I don't want to tell him what he can and can't write though. This... I'm doing this _for_ him, Pepper, because he _needs_ it. Because he _deserves_ it. What these people don't seem to understand is that they think Loki isn't being punished. They don't get it that being here on Earth IS his prison, his punishment. Criminals who have good behavior get to go to the library and the yard, and this is the same principle. They seem to think it's all fun and games for him here - he's _miserable_. This is the only time I've ever seen him happy. And I... I like it."

 

Loki fell back against the wall. No one had ever talked about him like that. Like they understood. Thor had tried when they were younger but it had always seemed forced. His duty as the older brother. But Tony really seemed to care. Part of him wanted to rush in and thank him, but the other part, the part that was still terrified of showing anyone anything about himself, refused. He couldn't open himself up that much. But maybe he could thank him in another way.  
  
With that he turned and walked silently down the hall. There was work to do.  
  
Inside the office Pepper looked Tony over. She had never seen him so invested in anyone. It was good to see him reaching out but she couldn't help but question his motives.

 

Weeks came and went, and the time for Loki's next gig approached quickly. The rest of the tickets sold out, and Tony opened up 100 more spots for 250 dollars a ticket - all of which had also sold out within the week.  
  
Tony found himself swelling with pride every time Loki talked about singing, about his new life. He mentioned once or twice the possibility of Loki writing something a little bit happier, but let it drop when Loki would give him strange looks.  
  
The stage for his second venue was even more elaborate than the first. Fog and laser machines and fireworks all set up, it looked perfect. The only thing it was missing was its shining star.  
Seeing Loi all decked out in leather and fishnets made a funny feeling worm into his gut. Gold eye shadow all the way up to his brow, gold banded chokers gilding his unusually long neck and making it appear even longer, black leather clinging to absolutely every curve and dip of his long, slender form.  
  
"They really did a good job this time." Tony said with a smile as he adjusted one of the chokers so its clasp faced the back of Loki's neck. His fingers lingered on the ex-god's throat perhaps a little bit too long.

 

Loki pretended he didn't notice but thanked Odin for the large, very loud crowd. Without them he was sure Tony would have heard his heart beating abnormally loudly in his chest. He didn't know why he was reacting so strongly to Tony and he didn't want to think about it. Opening up that line of thought was sure to drag up a lot of unwanted emotion which he didn't need right before going on stage.  
  
"Stay for the first song." he commanded. "You stayed last time and I want you here this time. For luck."

 

Tony laughed. “Alright, but just the first song. I have a lot to do.” He conceded, trying to look for something else on Loki’s costume that he could paw at and fix, just in order to touch the pale form again.

 

Loki saw him looking and smirked. "Maybe next time I'll let you lace me into a corset." He teased before turning on his heel and walking out onto the stage, hoping Tony hadn't seen how embarrassed he looked as soon as the words left his mouth.

 

Tony's mouth went dry as soon as the images managed to work their way into his mind. Somehow, the thought of having Loki bent over on a wall while he got to tighten strings that would have Loki gasping...  
  
Tony banished the thought as a familiar yet still alien feeling gripped him. "Ridiculous." he muttered and walked out to the front of the curtains in order to announce Loki.  
  
"How many people here have been to Loki's show before?!" he called, receiving a deafening cheer in response. "And how many people are just joining Loki's Army today?!"  
  
The response was even louder. 

 

Behind the curtain Loki schooled his features, forcing back his embarrassment and the rising tide of joy in favor of his classic smirk. These people were here for him, to worship him, and he was going to give them exactly what they wanted.  
  
The curtain opened and Loki stepped up to the mic as a wave of thunderous applause washed over him.  
  
"I know you're all well acquainted with my illustrious manager." he said, looking off stage to catch Tony's eye as another round of applause echoes through around them. "Since he's been so good to me I thought I would write a song for him."

 

Tony thought he felt his heart stop. He froze at the edge of the stage, whirling around with an alarmed expression.

 

“WHAT?!” he called loud enough to cause laughter in the front row.

 

Offering no more words, the song started in with what sounded like an electric guitar. Tony was enraptured already – what sort of song would Loki possibly sing for him?

 

“ _If I could write you a song,  
to make you fall in love,_ ”

 

Tony’s heart stopped all over again. Time seemed to slow down after those few words, and his stomach found a new home in his throat.

  
“ _I would already have you up into my army._  
 _I used up all of my tricks,_  
 _I hope that you like this._  
 _But you probably won't,_  
 _you think you're cooler than me._ ”

 

Suddenly able to breathe again, the color returned to Tony’s face. He was mildly aware that he was still standing stock still at the edge of the stage, staring dumbly forward.

  
“ _You got designer shades,_  
 _just to hide your face, and_  
 _you wear them around like_  
 _you're cooler than me._  
 _And when you say hey,_  
 _you don’t address me by name._  
 _And it’s probably cause_  
 _you think you're cooler than me._ ”

Tony was laughing now. The lyrics were much sillier than he thought they were, and he had to stop his hand from subconsciously reaching up to remove the actual designer sunglasses he was wearing. $500, they were. Loki wouldn’t understand.

He laughed again at the thought of Loki thinking Tony believed he was cooler than the ex-Asgardian. More suave, perhaps, street smart, yes. More mature. But cooler? There was no way being a human billionaire was cooler than having fucking _super human powers_.

  
“ _You got your hot crowd,_  
 _shoes on your feet._  
 _And you wear them around,_  
 _like they ain't shit._  
 _But you don't know_  
 _the way that you look,_  
 _when your steps_  
 _make_  
 _that_  
 _much_  
 _noise._ ”

Tony was feeling a little bit embarrassed now. He knew Loki was just teasing him, but he also knew that for the rest of ever, he would always be thinking about the amount of nose his custom hard leather soles made when he walked.

  
“ _See I got you,_  
 _all figured out._  
 _You need everyone's eyes just to feel seen._ ”

 

Frowning now, Tony crossed his arms. Loki was moving dangerously close to bad territory with his teasing. Tony did _not_ need every one looking at him to feel seen. Sure, he loved to pander to a crowd, but he didn’t _need_ it.

  
“ _You know you’re so vain,_  
 _you probably think that this song is about you._  
 _Don't you? Don't you?_ ”

Tony’s eyes opened wider all of a sudden. Hadn’t Loki said at the beginning that he wrote it for him? Confusion spiraled through him, as well as conflicting emotions all bundling up together in his stomach.

  
The song mostly repeated itself from there, reiterating the fact that Tony thought he was cooler than Loki. Tony couldn’t identify the way he was feeling. All he knew was that his cheeks were beginning to flush, and for the first time he was nervous in front of the screaming crowd.

 

At the end of the song Loki looked over and laughed, seeing the mix of confusion and embarrassment on Tony's face. The song had accomplished what it needed to. He had given Tony something, as a way of saying thank you, without making it look like he was really grateful. An easy way to ease his guilt while simultaneously maintaining his reputation. Two birds, one stone.  
  
"Alright Tony you're dismissed. I think you've suffered enough." he said, making the crowd laugh.

 

Ducking offstage quickly, Tony hid his face from view by turning his back. He didn’t know why he was feeling the way he was feeling – whatever way that was. It was almost like shame. He didn’t want Loki thinking of him that way. He had to figure out something… some way to make Loki think he wasn’t so arrogant. Even if he was, he found himself desperately wanting Loki to think he was a good person.

 

Loki's smile slipped. Tony had looked almost upset by his song. That had not been his intention. A little light teasing was all. It wasn't as if he was saying anything new. Everyone saw Tony that way. Besides, it was true. Tony thought he was cooler than most people because he was. Even Loki. He had the confidence, the clothes, and the charm, everything anyone could ever want. No one would ever write hate mail about _him._  
  
Putting it out of his mind for now Loki turned back to the crowd, throwing himself into his next song.


	4. Chapter 4

"Tony we need to talk." Bruce said, walking into the other man's lab. He was relieved to have finally tracked the man down after spending the last hour on a man hunt through Stark Tower.  
  
He took another step inside and paused. The entire lab was in disarray. He could identify at least three different projects scattered about, along with a handful of blueprints that didn't look like he had even begun to consider them. Now, Tony Stark was a genius and certainly he could handle having a lot of things on his plate at once but Bruce had never known him not to finish what he started, especially with his work. When it came to Tony's inventions, he tended to be very single minded. Seeing the evidence before him of how much Tony had changed only made it clearer that this talk was something they desperately needed.  
  
He found Tony's legs sticking out from under a nearby....well it looked like it might be a car, and moved to stand closer.  
  
"Tony, can you come up for a minute? I have a few messages to deliver."

 

“Put them on a desk.” Tony said, pointing towards the nearest desk with his foot, but still remaining underneath the vehicle.

 

"Verbal messages Tony. The others sent me up here to talk to you." Bruce clarified, hoping Tony would take the hint and come up without further argument.

 

Tony groaned. “Oh, not THIS shit again. I’m not talking about my _feelings_ , Bruce. Go tell the others they can stick a great big giant – ”

 

“Sir, they’ve threatened Dr. Banner with a birthday party if he isn’t successful in talking to you.” Jarvis suddenly interrupted. “You know Dr. Banner has a fear of social interaction. It’s only polite.”

 

“I didn’t build you to guilt-trip me, Jarvis.”

 

"Tony, we're worried about your mental state. Just come up so I can assure the others you're not about to completely check out on us." Bruce begged. This conversation was getting more uncomfortable by the minute but he really didn't want to consider how much worse his punishment would be if he failed.

 

“For Christ’s sake, just tell them all to chill the fuck out. Tell them they can all take their heads out _my_ ass and put them back in _their own_.” Tony grunted, almost dropping the wrench he was holding on his face.

 

Bruce sighed. "We're worried about you man. You haven;t been acting like you. Clint has started suggesting we test you to see if you've been mind controlled like he was. Natasha's worried you might have been replaced with a body double and Steve thinks you have PTSD."

 

“Oh. No, they _do_ still have their heads up their asses.” Tony said curtly.

 

"You're not making this any easier on me. And even if it does sound ridiculous they have a point. You haven't been acting like yourself." he continued.

 

“No, _you_ sound ridiculous. How on Earth am I not acting like myself? I’m perfectly normal.” Tony argued.

 

"Have you looked around your lab?" Bruce said. "You haven't finished a single project in over a month. Not to mention you won't talk to anyone. Even Pepper. She's hurt by it too. You've been pushing us all away and I thought we were closer than that. Not to mention the way you act with Loki."

 

Tony froze.

 

“How do I act with Loki?”

 

Bruce resisted the urge to roll his eyes, trading that particular gesture for a shrug. "You open doors for him. You're constantly offering to get him things, asking if he wants food or a drink or a car. You're _polite_ which I think is the entire basis of the Captain's theory. It's just not like you. You're _never_ that....considerate, I guess. Humble works too."

 

Tony finally pushed out from underneath the vehicle to glare up at Bruce so viciously it made the other man jump.

 

“So let me get this straight.” He said, pushing himself up to his feet. “The group sent you – the most timid man among us – to talk to me about everyone’s concerns about me because I’m acting fucking _nice?_ What the fuck kind of message do you think that sends me?! Oh no, Tony, don’t be fucking _nice_ , it’s weirding us out! Go back to being a general _asshole_ , that’s what we’re used to!”

 

"You're nice to one person Tony. One. The rest of us aren't even blips on your radar. It's not good for the team." Bruce said, taking a step back as if he thought Tony might strike him.

 

Tony kicked a bucket, sending metal scraps skittering across the floor of his lab.

 

“I _hate_ this team, you _know_ that!” he snarled, running his hands through his hair as if he was about to pull it out. “If anyone knows that, it’s you! You’re all teamed up and all for being the goddamn _Justice League_ and I never really _wanted_ that! You’re all noble and you _give a fuck_ about people! I am nothing but a selfish asshole, Bruce, go stick THAT the fuck up Steve’s tight ass!”

 

Bruce took a few more hurried steps back, his hands raised in the universal sign for surrender. "I'm just here to talk to you. We care about you Tony, whether you like it or not. I wasn't trying to upset, I just wanted you to understand where we're coming from. I'm sorry. I'll go."

 

On his way out the door, Bruce could hear Tony continue to trash his lab, throwing things about like a child. He was long, long down the hall by the time Tony had collapsed on the hood of the vehicle he’d been working on, doubling over and crying into his palms.

 

He couldn’t even tell what he was feeling anymore. Most of the time he felt sick to his stomach, strange, fleeting thoughts of killing himself in grand ways had flashed through his mind. He was afraid he was going completely insane.

 

He was distracted and scared and angry and sick. And when he would see Loki, it would all disappear. For a few minutes while he was by the man’s side, all of the negativity brewing inside him would seep away. He would feel bliss, he would feel peace. He wanted to do everything for Loki. Everything and nothing, anything, anything to stay by his side. To spend as much time with him as he could. It was Loki who made him feel good to be alive.

 

The rest of the time was just interim periods, waiting for the next time he would see Loki. He would exist between encounters, and do little else.

 

He felt like vomiting and stabbing something all at once. His chest was tight and his body was shaking. Something was terribly, terribly wrong with him. But he couldn’t even tell what.

 

Loki passed Bruce in the hall, eyes widening as the doctor passed. The poor man, who was skittish at the best of times, looked like he was going to cry. He tried to stop him as he walked by but Banner simply shook his head and picked up the pace. Puzzled but not curious enough to follow him, Loki continued his trip down to Tony's lab. He had a few things to discuss with his manager before his next show.  
  
But when he got there all those thoughts flew out of his mind. The lab was a wreck. Tony always kept his lab in a state of organized chaos but this was like a whirlwind had just torn through. Screens and tools littered the floor, some bent or broken from then force of the collision. There was broken glass everywhere, making the passing to Tony treacherous.  
  
And then there was the man himself. His face red, cheeks wet, looking on the verge of screaming. The sight of it made Loki's chest ache and he didn't know why.  
  
"Tony?" he said carefully, taking a step closer to the other man.

 

Head snapping up, Tony looked breathlessly at the paler man. His breath was coming in shallow, uneven puffs, as though he’d just been sobbing violently.

 

But looking into Loki’s pale eyes, it felt as if all of Tony’s anxieties and angers melted away into blissful nothingness. Every time he saw Loki he wondered why he ever bothered to leave his side.

 

Acting quickly, Tony used the hem of his shirt to dry his tears, as if there hadn’t been a solid ten seconds already in which Loki had observed the billionaire’s tears.

 

"You were crying." Loki said, his voice flat but his brow furrowed in anxious confusion. While his tone gave nothing away his body language said it all. He stood perfectly still, as if worried any movement might frighten Tony away. He didn't know what he was supposed to do in this situation, how he was supposed to react. He couldn't remember ever seeing anyone cry before, at least not an adult. Certainly not the ones he knew. Odin had come close once, when Loki had been screaming at him in the treasure room but even then he couldn't recall his 'father' shedding any tears. As a child he had made Sif cry once but that was different. They were children and it had been his fault. She had hit him then and later they had both apologized and moved on with their lives. He doubted it would be so easy now.  
  
"Is it," he stopped, not wanting to go down this road. But he didn't see any other choice.

 

He couldn't let Tony fall apart for him.

 

That might have been what he wanted once but now that thought frightened him. He needed Tony. And, though he doubted he would ever admit it, he liked him.   
  
So he pressed on. "Does this have anything to do with those angry emails?"

 

Tony took in a sharp inhale. “How did you know about those?” he demanded, immediately flying through accusations. “Did you go on my computer? Did Pepper tell you?! _Fuck_ , you weren’t supposed to know!”

 

"Stark, calm down." Loki ordered. "I never touched your computer. I was listening outside your office when you told Pepper. It doesn't bother me."

 

“You were… eavesdropping?” Tony somehow looked even angrier. “God _dammit_ , Loki! You weren’t supposed to hear any of that! I’ve been tearing myself apart trying to hide it from you and you’ve known all along?!”

 

Loki straightened even further, looming over Tony as much as he could. "Who do you think you are?" He snapped. "Did you think you needed to protect me? I don't need you to shield me from anything. I know what people think of me. It doesn't bother me. You tore yourself apart for nothing."

“ _THAT’S A LIE!_ ” Tony’s voice boomed, echoing through the lab. “I did it for _you_ , because I _CARE_ about you!”

 

" _DON'T!_ " Loki shouted back so angry he was nearly trembling. "I never _asked_ for you to care about me. I don't need it. And if this is what it does to you what's the point? It’s not worth it!"

 

“You need it more than you know, Loki.” Tony said, his chest heaving with restrained shouting. “You’ve craved it all your life. You’re scared of it, and you want it so bad it hurts.”

 

Loki's face went white. He could hear a roaring in his ears and the urge to run was almost overpowering.  
  
"Do not pretend you know me. It is foolish to think you could." He said, his voice low and cold.

 

“I know you better than anyone else on this planet, Loki. I know things about you Thor does not – Thor will never know. I know things about you that you do not know about yourself. I know the way you look when you think no one is looking.” Tony said, trying to keep his voice even.

 

"You know nothing!" Loki shouted, but it was the cry of a broken man. He could feel tears stinging his eyes as they had that day in Odin's treasure room. The first time he had been forced to confront the truth about himself. His eyes scanned the immediate area, looking for something he could grab, something he could break. That had always been his reaction to anger or fear.

 

Destruction. Because if he could easily destroy it that was just one more thing he was stronger than.

 

“I know more than you wish I knew.” Tony argued. “I know that you’re holding onto your sanity, clinging to your dignity. You’re broken. You’re trying to piece yourself back together, and you’re scared you’re not doing it very well. You want glory, but you can barely wake up in the morning. I know the things you won’t admit to yourself, Loki.”

 

"Stop it! Stop talking like you understand!"  
  
He couldn't take it anymore. Tony was right. He knew Tony was right even if he didn't want to admit it. He needed to get away. Desperate for escape Loki reached for the first item he could, landing on a small wrench off one of the nearby desks, and threw it in the general direction of Tony's head.

 

Ducking to the side, Tony lurched forward and grabbed the wrist of the retreating man, stopping him in his tracks. Loki jerked against his wrist, but Tony’s grip was too strong.

 

“Stop it. Stop running from everything that scares you.”

 

"Let me go." Loki ordered but even to him it sounded like he was begging. He needed to get away, to flee, to lock himself away where no one could see him. He needed to be alone, safe and whole in his solitude. It didn't matter what they thought of him then or how they treated him. No one, not even Tony Stark, could hurt him then.

 

“Don’t run from me.” Tony’s voice was calmer, his grip still tight on Loki’s wrist.

 

Loki ignored him, continuing to struggle in his grasp. He could feel the tears threatening to spill down his cheeks and bit them back, forcing himself not to cry.  
  
"Leave me alone Tony."

 

“Please don’t run from me.” Tony repeated, his voice even softer now. Pleading.

 

Loki's struggles slowly died until he was standing passively, his eyes fixed on the ground. Every muscle in his body was tightened, prepared to run at the first opportunity but he let Tony hold him in place.

 

In the next second, Tony had jerked Loki back, spun him around, and pressed him against his chest. Loki’s cheek rest on his shoulder, his face illuminated by Tony’s reactor.

 

“Stop running Loki. You’re safe.”

 

Loki was tense. He held himself stiffly, not wanting to let Tony's embrace affect him. But Tony was so warm and strong and his words sounded so genuine. He wanted to believe him, but at the same time he didn't want to let those barriers come down. He had spent years of his life closing himself off, little by little, until even Thor didn't know him anymore. The thought of changing that now was terrifying.  
  
"I don't believe you." he whispered.

 

“If you aren’t safe here, Loki, then where are you safe?”

 

Now that was a terrifying thought. Loki had always considered himself safe as long as he could rely on himself but that wasn't an option any more. He was at the Avenger's mercy now, he needed them. Tony especially. If he was going to survive the next hundred years he would need to trust them, and let them keep him safe. All the work he had done to close himself off meant nothing now. A far crueler punishment than the one the council had meant to set.  
  
"It's not fair." he whimpered, pressing his face into Tony's shoulder a little harder, as if he were trying to disappear.

 

Tony released his wrist. He knew Loki wouldn’t run now. He lifted his hand to cup the back of Loki’s head, cradling him just a little bit closer, trying to help him disappear. “You have to let yourself feel safe with me, Loki. No one here… no one here cares about you. Not like I do. If the rest of the people here had their way, you’d be in a prison cell for the rest of eternity. You have to trust me, Loki. You have to trust me to keep you safe. You can’t keep yourself safe anymore.”

 

Loki shuddered. "Why would you help me?" He asked softly.

 

What an excellent question. Tony wasn’t sure he was prepared to answer.

Loki knew Tony cared for him already, and he wasn’t the sort to repeat himself.

He wasn’t sure he even really knew why.

 

“Because no one else will.”

 

Loki sighed and pushed Tony away. This was just more pity. He hated pity. His mother had pitied him, though he had never known why. So had Thor, even before everything that happened. Now Tony pitied him, even while the rest of his species looked down on him with scorn and disgust.  
  
"I'm going to my room." he said, turning away from the hero. "I want to be alone for a while."

 

Letting Loki walk away was one of the hardest things Tony ever had to do. He deserved to be let go, he deserved his peace. Tony couldn’t help but hate himself – he knew he gave the wrong answer.

 

But the answer that had planted itself in his mind was more terrifying than anything Tony had ever encountered.

 

 _Because I love you_.

 

Over the next few weeks Loki retreated back into his shell. After his fight with Tony he didn't want to talk to anyone. If someone tried to get his attention he responded quickly and angrily, shooting down any attempt at communication. Most of the time he stayed in his room. He wouldn't tell anyone but he was working on a new set of songs. A set of songs that he hoped would change things.  
  
He couldn't forget what Tony had told him. He refused to let go of his anger and indignation at the pity in Tony's voice. He wanted to hate him but for some reason the usual loathing just wasn't coming. In its place was a determination, fueled by his anger, to change it. He didn't want anyone, least of all Tony, to see him like that. He wanted them to understand and he hoped this fresh list of songs would do just that.

 

Those weeks were hell. Tony drifted around lifelessly, usually drunk. The only time he would ever come out of his stupor was when he would do something involving Loki’s music career. Selling tickets, making deals, picking venues, this was what gave him purpose.

 

It was all over the news. Tony Stark had fallen off the face of the planet. Out of the media, out of the limelight, and probably out of his mind. People began to really be concerned when images of Tony standing on the railing at the edge of the Stark balcony were released from where they were taken – a news chopper.

 

Glass of bourbon in hand, shirt undone and flapping around him, Tony Stark was one strong wind away from tumbling to his death.

 

He felt sick all the time. He was dying, it felt like. He was falling into pieces on the inside, and the only thing holding him together was Loki.

It was an obsession. That much was clear. And it wasn’t healthy.

 

Finally, despite the dragging of the days and the growing worry of Tony's teammates, the day of Loki's next concert arrived.

The usual rush to set up, the stampede of waiting fans, the flashing lights and the all over turmoil of concert day caught them all but something felt oddly subdued this time. Especially Loki himself.

Even now, sitting in front of his dressing room mirror he felt no excitement. The now familiar buzz of anticipation was still there but no joy. In its place was fear. What if they didn't like his new songs? What if they decided they didn't want him anymore?

What if Tony didn't want him anymore?

Looking up to apply eyeliner, his mirror was suddenly filled with Tony Stark, standing directly behind him. He was about to whirl around, but Tony stopped him with a hand to the shoulder. It was easier to look at him through the mirror.

 

“I’m sorry about what happened last time we spoke.” He said, his words sounding forced and hoarse. “You should know I didn’t mean what I said.”

 

He cringed internally. That hadn’t come out right, not even close. He’d meant to express that he’d meant something _else_ at the time, now it sounded like he didn’t mean a thing he said at all.

 

"It doesn't matter." Loki said, wondering what exactly Tony was taking back. Did he mean he didn't care about him? That he wasn't the only one Loki could rely on? That Loki couldn't even trust him?

"I understand you're obligated to give a damn. It's your job. I should have realized that." Loki continued, keeping himself distant and cold, not wanting his anxiety to show and start another scene like the one in the lab. "Thor shouldn't have given you that responsibility. But the least I can do is make it easier."

“Ah, dammit, that’s not what I meant – ” Tony began, running a hand over his face. “Look… I’m sorry. I’m sorry about what happened. I’m sorry I scared you, I’m sorry I said all the wrong things. I just… I want this to work for you. And so do your fans. It doesn’t matter what the rest of the world thinks, and I should have put more faith in your ability to cope with it, but I just don’t want to see you get _hurt_ anymore.”

 

"I don't want to talk about it right now Stark." Loki said, his tone leaving no room for argument. He was anxious enough as it was, he didn't need an emotion-laden conversation weighing on his mind too. "I forgive you. Now please, just let me get through this show. Then maybe we can talk."

 

Tony sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Alright, alright. After, then.”

 

His hand lingered on Loki’s shoulder perhaps a little bit too long before he finally pulled back and away. His feet carried him to the stage where Loki would be in a few minutes, and he did his usual announcement. His heart was a little bit less into it than usual, but he put energy behind his words nonetheless. For Loki.

 

Everything seemed to be for Loki.

 

And as he was about to walk away, his feet kept him in place. The first song, always the first song. He would stay for the first song.

 

It started eerily, if fog creeping in over a field could be captured in music, that’s the sound it made. Dissolving into a loud, passionate guitar riff, Loki began to sing.

 

“ _I'm tired of being what you want me to be  
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface,_ ”

 

Already Tony felt his throat closing up. Is that what Loki thought of him?

  
“ _Don't know what you're expecting of me,  
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes._ ”

 

He could breathe again. He was talking about Odin. Suddenly he was listening much more intently – he was getting real insight to Loki’s past, from Loki’s point of view. This was exactly what the world needed. What _he_ needed.

  
“ _Every step that I take is another mistake to you,_

 _I've become so numb, I can't feel you there!_  
Become so tired, so much more aware,  
I'm becoming this, all I want to do  
Is be more like me and be less like you!”  
  
Loki’s voice was angry, so, so angry. Fury and hurt and grief tainting his voice and turning it into the perfect angry howl, exactly what the audience was looking for.

 

“ _Can't you see that you're smothering me,  
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?  
'Cause everything that you thought I would be  
Has fallen apart right in front of you._  
 __  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you!  
  
And every second I waste is more than I can take!”

Tony watched the audience bounce and bob and headbang to Loki’s words, and he found himself filled with anger. They didn’t even seem to be listening to the lyrics – none of them really cared. They loved his music, they loved his face, they didn’t understand the years of pain behind every syllable he uttered. His speaking of Thor and of Odin, and probably of himself, were all so _powerful_.

 

They didn’t care.

  
“ _I've become so numb, I can't feel you there,_  
Become so tired, so much more aware  
I'm becoming this, all I want to do  
Is be more like me and be less like you!  
  
And I know  
I may end up failing too.  
But I know  
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you!”

 

The song came to a breathtaking climax, guitars and drums pounding like a massive heartbeat climbing higher and higher until the song took a final note on that same eerie sound, slowing into silence.

 

Tony hadn’t even realized he’d been crying.

 

_I won't look. I won't look._

 

Loki tried to convince himself that he didn't need to see Tony's reaction. But despite his mental orders to focus on the crowd his head turned and he was immediately struck by the sadness he saw on the other man's face.

 

It was a deep, pained look like every word Loki had sung had hurt him personally. It made Loki sad but at the same time, relieved. Even if no one else understood what his words had meant Tony did.

 

Loki didn’t have much time to recover before his next song started, and Tony quickly retreated from the stage. He knew that Loki felt that way, he’d always known it. It was so clear, but to hear it come directly from Loki’s lips like that was two steps above heart breaking.

 

He doubted he could really focus on the things he needed to do now.


	5. Chapter 5

The concert had ended over two weeks ago and Loki had yet to talk to Tony, or even be in the same room as him. After the concert had ended they had driven home together in a heavy silence that pressed against Loki's skin and made it hard to breathe. At least, he thought it was the silence at first. Then he realized it wasn't simply the quiet that unsettled him but Tony's presence. He could feel how close the man was, was acutely aware of the small space between them.  
  
On stage, after he saw Tony's reaction to his song he had felt so...free. Like a weight had been lifted from his soldiers. Just knowing that Tony had seen him, really really seen him, had been more of a rush than the thousands of fans watching him. But there, sitting the car, he had begun to doubt. Tony hadn't said anything. He had seemed to determined to talk things out before the concert and now there was this silence between them. Maybe he had been wrong, maybe he had jumped to conclusions thinking the look on Tony's face was one of pained understanding. Maybe he had been shocked, even appalled. Maybe at that moment, when they sat with less than a foot or air between there bodies, he was sitting there silently hating him for going up on stage and bearing his soul for everyone.  
  
Maybe he had gone too far.  
  
For days those fears had haunted him, driving him from any room where Tony might enter unexpectedly. He had taken to hiding, to slipping through the shadows, terrified of running into Tony and finding nothing but disgust looking back at him.  
  
But eventually those fears had dissipated, chased away by something far worse.

 

That was the question of why. Why did he care so much? Tony was just a man, no different from any other human. Alright richer and more charming and far more intelligent than most but still only a human. So why was it his opinion Loki was so scared of? Why was it his approval he sought and his rejection that terrified him?  
  
He tried to convince himself that Tony held his career in his hands and that was reason enough to be wary of his judgment but, master liar or not, he could not deceive himself for long. He knew it wasn't Tony's opinion as a manager that was causing him so much anxiety but rather his opinion as a person. A person who cared for Loki. And possibly someone Loki cared for too. Maybe. If that was even possible.  
  
Whatever it was, whatever the reason, it had Loki stumped. He knew only what he felt and that was an overwhelming desire to please Tony and Tony alone. And that was frightening. So frightening he didn't even want to face the man for fear of discovering just how badly he had failed. Or why it mattered in the first place.

 

Loki was like a snake in the days that followed. Slippery and impossible to find. Tony never used Jarvis to locate Loki, it was obvious he was hiding. He only checked every few hours to make sure he was still, indeed, inside the tower.

 

He respected Loki’s need for privacy, but as the days passed, Tony grew more and more desperate to talk to him. Loki had promised, but he hadn’t said a thing in the limo on the drive home. There had been a few exchanged sentences about how well the concert had gone, but beyond that, they hadn’t said a word. Had Loki not really meant it when he said they could talk?

 

And as before, the only solace Tony could find was in the embrace of alcohol. He would drink himself stupid whenever it wasn’t necessary that he be coherent. He avoided Pepper like the plague, even hotwired the lab access code to a different, external hard drive and changed the number so she couldn’t use Jarvis to get in at him.

 

He didn’t need her bullshit right now anyway. He was dying from the inside out, shriveling up and crying and crying and crying, and he couldn’t bring himself to give a shit about his company. That’s why he made Pepper CEO, dammit.

 

Retirement suddenly seemed like a good idea. Leave the company in the hands of Pepper, never deal with it again, and just spend all of his time in his lab, reaping the rewards of the company. In fact, it sounded perfect. Why hadn’t he thought of it before?

 

He could spend all his time helping Loki in his new career.

 

And then that thought process would bring him spiraling right back to the source of the problem.

 

It quickly became clear that simply avoiding Tony wasn't going to cut it. Loki first started to suspect that he might not be allowed to enjoy his solitude when Thor came by his room, asking what had gone wrong between him and Tony. Loki had brushed it off, saying he was just tired from work and that it was Thor's fault for making him human in the first place. That had seemed to appease the god and Loki had assumed that was the end of it.  
  
Apparently not. He had now had to use similar lies to drive away Banner, the Captain and the mewling quim. From their vague questions he gathered that they were more worried about Tony's sudden retreat than his frosty silence. It left him with a sinking feeling in his stomach but still he told his lies and sent them on their way, though each one was harder to assuage than the one before. Not wanting the hassle he had begun to simply avoid them all together.  
  
Now, looking up at the angry lioness that was Pepper Potts, he knew it wasn't going to be that easy.

 

“You.” Pepper’s hands were balled by her fists, barely restraining herself from reaching out and grabbing Loki by the hair. “You are going to talk to Tony this very instant or I will personally see to it that you are _never again_ a part of his life for as long as you both shall live.”

 

Loki gaped at her her. She couldn't possibly...but he knew she could. If anyone had the authority to cut him out of Tony's life it would be Pepper. Worse yet she would do it. She had known Tony for more than ten years and the two of them were closer than family, despite their break up. Or possibly because of it. Either way if Pepper would do whatever she could if she thought it would protect Tony.  
  
Now the question was, did Loki care? What would it matter if Tony was no longer a part of his life? He was just one man. He had lost far more than that in his life, by his own hand. But Tony was different, had always been different. From the first time they had met he had known that. How could he not see him as different from the others with his confident smile and self-assured strut? How could he not be impressed by a man who had calmly offered him a drink while his city was the verge of total destruction?  
  
But it wasn't just respect or admiration he felt any more. He wanted to be close to Tony, to let Tony care about him and to care for him in return, though that sort of closeness frightened him. He had gotten used to it during their time together and he couldn't give it up now only to go back to the aching loneliness he had felt before.  
  
"Why me?" he asked quietly, not refusing, simply wondering. "What makes you think anything I can say will help?"

 

“Because everybody else tried.” Pepper said. “He won’t talk to anyone, not even Jarvis. He won’t talk to me, or Steve or Bruce. He won’t say a word. So now it’s your turn to try. He’s on the balcony floor drinking as usual. Go and talk to him right this instant.”

 

"I doubt it will do any good." Loki said, "But if you insist I try I don't see why I shouldn't." He pushed past her into the hall.  
  
Every step closer to the balcony felt like it took an eternity yet when he arrived it seemed to have gone too quickly. He needed more time, time to think and prepare himself for this confrontation. He needed to build up walls against the anger he was sure Tony was feeling towards him.  
  
But then he saw him, standing there at the edge of the roof, a drink in his hand and his body tilted slightly forward as if preparing to topple over the side and it didn't matter. All he could see now was Tony taking that final step and falling to his doom. Loki had seen him fall before, during that last battle, but he hadn't cared then. Then he had just been an enemy, a causality of war. But now...  
  
 _No, no no no. He can't do this, not now, not when I need him._  
  
"Tony!" he shouted, taking a step closer, hand outstretched to grab the other man in case he should stumble and lose his footing. "Tony what are you doing? Get away from there."

 

Tony looked back over his shoulder, swaying gently in the breeze as he saw Loki’s expression.

“What do you want?” he asked bitterly. He’d been wanting to talk to Loki for weeks, but his sudden appearance _right now_ was not ideal. Tony was tipsy, he was thinking, and he was standing at the very edge of his roof trying to remember what it had felt like when he was thrown from his tower by Loki all those months ago.

 

"I want to talk. Your friends are worried about you." Loki said, adding quickly "So am I. Now come over here before you do something foolish. Please. There's no need for this."  
  
He wanted to jump forward and pull Tony to him, to drag him back to where is was safe but his feet felt like lead. He couldn't move, despite the frantic beating of his all too human heart, for fear of scaring Tony into doing something drastic.

 

“I’m sick and tired of everyone wanting to talk about my _feelings_ all of a sudden. Least of all I didn’t expect _you_ to join the herd of people who give a shit about me.” Tony snapped, his words full of venom. He downed the rest of the contents of his glass and stretched it out at arms length. The empty tumbler caught the light of the city for a few brief seconds before he opened his fingers and leaned over just a little bit in order to watch it sink into the inky blackness of the nighttime metropolis.

 

"Tony please!" Loki pleaded. "Don't do this. You're scaring me. Just tell me what's wrong."  
  
He was becoming frantic. He had never had to deal with someone else acting like this. The stubborn, angry, emotionally wounded mad man was usually his role. He knew what it felt like but he didn't have any idea how to talk someone else out of it.

 

Tony got a sick amount of pleasure, listening to Loki’s voice crack like that. He knew what Loki thought he was going to do.

 

He wasn’t going to jump. He was too much of a selfish coward to jump. But he could damn sure make Loki _think_ he was going to jump.

 

“You’re not stupid, Loki. You know what’s wrong. You just don’t want to say it out loud.”

 

"What do you want from me Tony?" Loki asked, side stepping Tony's accusation. "Tell me what you want me to say."

 

“I’m not giving you a _script_ , Loki!” Tony hollered, shifting his foot just a millimeter closer to the edge. It felt more like a mile.

 

Loki's eyes went wide and he took a step forward to match Tony's own, as if he could keep Tony safe if he stayed close enough.  
  
"Tony I'm sorry. Is that what you want? I'm sorry I avoided you, I'm sorry I shut you out. I'm sorry I wrote that damn song." he mentally cursed himself for ever letting it get this far. "I'm sorry for everything. But please, don't do this."

 

“Did you know,” Tony began in an even tone, stretching one hand out, palm facing the black city below. “That most jump victims die before they hit the ground? Their hearts beat so fast they usually have a heart attack, or the blood pressure is too much and a blood vessel bursts in the head, or it’s too hard to breathe and they suffocate. It’s almost never the impact that kills the jumper.”

 

" _Stop it!_ " Loki shouted. Tears began to run down his cheeks. He didn't know what else to say to bring Tony back but he couldn't listen to this. He just couldn't take it. "Just stop! You can't do this Tony. I need you! You can't just leave me here."

 

“You can always find another manager. You’re getting popular now, you’ve got two record deals in the works. You don’t need me to sort things out for you anymore. You don’t need me.”

 

He was close. He was so close to what he was looking for. Just dig a little deeper, one more kick in the right direction.

 

“You don’t care about me.”

 

"You're a fool. You think I don't care? Do you think I've been running from you for weeks because it was _fun?_ Are you really so simple that you think I would be so terrified of your opinion if it meant nothing?" Loki replied, unable to stop himself from revealing too much.

 

Tony's words bothered him too much for it to matter. How could Tony possibly think that? How could he not see how much Loki depended on him and cared for him? How could he not see that his role as his manager meant nothing and that Loki would give it up in a heart beat if that was what Tony asked?  
  
That thought changed everything. Music had become his life but he knew, without a doubt that if Tony wanted him to stop he would and he wouldn't look back.  
  
 _No. Oh Odin no! I can't. I just can't._

“Why were you running?” Tony demanded evenly, shifting his foot just a bit closer to the edge. He was a little too close for comfort now, in fact one strong breeze would probably send him tumbling, but it was way too easy to pull the necessary information out of Loki this way.

Loki took a few deep breaths, using the time to try to come up with a reasonable lie but he couldn't think of one. His head was still spinning from what he had just realized and he couldn't come up with anything other than the truth.  
  
"After my concert you didn't say anything. I thought you might hate my song." Loki answered. "I thought you might be disgusted with me for it."

 

“You thought I didn’t like your song, so you avoided me? How petty can you be?” Tony rolled his eyes. But he was inwardly glad that it was something so simple.

 

Loki glared at him. "Yes, I am. I know you probably think I'm incapable of caring about anything but myself but believe it or not I do care what you think. If that upsets you I'm truly sorry."

 

“I don’t think you know what it means to care about someone.” Tony pressed on. He needed more, more of this. “I don’t think you ever cared about anything but your own personal gain. You don’t care about people, least of all _humans_. I’m just another human, Loki, just one less _ant_ beneath your boot. One less vermin in the world, and one less you have to worry about.”

 

"YOU DON"T KNOW ANYTHING!" Loki shouted. "I was an idiot to think you ever could. You're just like everyone else, looking down on me and making assumptions. You think so little of me when you mean so much-"  
  
He abruptly cut himself off, now taking a step back himself. He hadn't meant to say that. He would have preferred to say anything else but it was out there now. Tony had heard him, there was no pretending he hadn't.

 

“You don’t ever tell me shit. I don’t have any choice but to make assumptions.” Tony muttered, wondering if it would be worth it to make a big scene out of jumping off the roof and have Jarvis pick him up in a suit before he hit the ground.

 

"What am I supposed to tell you? That your opinion means more to me than anyone else’s? You would only laugh at me." Loki replied, his chest still heaving. "You don't care. You only pity me.  Maybe you don't even care enough for that. I don't know."

 

“You’re wrong.” Tony said, the wind was picking up around him and he needed to speed this up. If he was rejected, he would only be one step away from leaving the shame behind. “I love you.”

 

Loki's eyes widened more than should have been physically possible. Tony...no. It wasn't possible. He couldn't. No one could. Not after everything he had done.  
  
"Don't lie to me!" He cried. "If you hate me just say it. Do not try to play with my emotions."

 

“I thought it was pretty stupid at first too. I thought maybe I was allergic to you. You made me sick to my stomach in the fluttery kind of first-date way. You made me dizzy, you kept me up at night. I tried to think it had something to do with being your manager, and that worked for a while until you mentioned the corset. Then I realized I _want_ you. I wanted to punish you for what you did with my body, I wanted to _take_ you, to own you, to fill you with me. You’re all lithe and light and lust, and I _want_ you. It wasn’t just stomach aches any more, it was _full body_ aches. I can’t take it anymore, I feel like I’m dying. I need it to end, one way or the other.”

 

 _I knew it was my fault._   Loki thought. His fists clenched at his side. He knew what Tony was talking about. He felt it too, sometimes. The burning lust, the overwhelming need. He had written it off as nothing but a passing desire, so like him to want what he could never have, but he knew it was a lie. Tony might only want to use him but he couldn't live with that,  
  
"Is that all you want?" He asked. "My body? To empty your lusts in me? Because I can't accept that."

 

Tony scoffed. “I wish it was that simple. Lust I can work with. Lust I’m used to.”

 

"What would you take then? If you could have everything you wanted?" Loki asked, his heart pounding in his chest. He prayed Tony would give the right answer.

 

“All of you. Every shred of you that lives and breathes and struts before me.” Tony said, his words sounding thick in his throat. “Every move you make, every eyelash and pore and breath that leaves your body. There wouldn’t be a single fraction of you that isn’t mine.”

 

Loki's knees felt weak. He wanted to run and throw himself into Tony's arms or turn and run as fast as he could but his body refused to do either. Which was probably for the best as both options would see Tony dead in a matter of moments.  
  
"Then take me." He challenged.

 

A thread snapped. Tony was down off the edge of the roof before either of them could breathe, chests pressed so tightly they couldn’t inhale. Lips crashed, blood joined between teeth, hips rocked and fingers tangled in dark hair. The wind drowned out their  moans, whipped locks about until the dark tresses were interchangeable. They melted against one another, mingling and becoming one there on the roof.

 

It was like nothing Loki had experienced before. He had had sex before, plenty of times, with both men and women. Sometimes at the same time. But never like this. Those times had always been rough and empty and nothing more than two people meeting in physical intimacy. But this...it was like Tony wasn't just taking his body but with every thrust, every kiss and bite he seemed to be taking part of Loki's soul for his own. Every touch was like a brand, like Tony was burning himself onto Loki's skin and claiming him.  
  
It was far from gentle but Loki didn't mind. Tony knew without needing to be told just how hard to push, how much to pull his hair, how strong of a bite was too strong. It was perfect and left him seeing stars.

 

Tony could barely believe this was happening. Loki was “the villain” he was the hated, the despised. The _conqueror of worlds_ , even if he never did get past New York City. And atop all that, he was a _man_.

 

Tony Stark, playboy to end all playboys, now had Loki – the villain of Asgard and Earth itself – pinned to the wall of his balcony and was rutting against him like the second coming was right around the corner. Pinned his wrists, putting marks on his skin, toying and teasing and playing and rough and seeing just how far _just how hard_ he could push him.

 

"Tony..." Loki moaned and oh he liked that. It was so much more pleasant than an Asgardian name like 'Eilif' or 'Guðmundr'. Tony's name flowed from his tongue without conscious thought, most of his mind being otherwise occupied. He said it again, this time in a low almost purr, still loving the sound of it and reassuring himself that yes, this was Tony. Tony's hands holding his wrists and Tony's mouth driving him crazy and Tony's body hot and hard against his own. Yes, this was Tony, and he would say it again and again until he couldn't anymore.

 

They made love on that rooftop three times that night, calling their excitement and announcing their climax to the crisp night air. The wall, the floor and the edge of the balcony all marked with their sex, and claimed by their bodies. Eventually tiredness pulled them indoors, where their naked bodies lay sprawled over the extensive couches, cooling in the night air.

 

Loki laid across Tony’s chest like an oversized cat, and Tony couldn’t stop himself from playing with that long, silky black hair. A satisfied smile curled his lips, and he closed his eyes.

 

Loki sighed and pressed himself more firmly against Tony's chest, seeking warmth against the chill that had begun to seep into his skin. He felt relaxed and content and safe for the first time in many years. He knew that too soon the old doubts and fears would come creeping back but for now he was happy in the arms of someone who meant more to him than anyone else ever had.  
  
"You certainly live up to your reputation." he teased. "Fortunately. I would hate to have to train you."

 

Tony snorted. “You could barely keep up with me.” He said, tracing formless designs across Loki’s back with his fingertips.

 

"I'm not used to doing this as a human." Loki countered. "If I still had my powers there would be five of me, at least two female, and you wouldn't be anywhere close to this coherent."

 

“Oh don’t _say_ that, now I’m going to be thinking about all the things I _can’t have_.” Tony toyed, running his hands down the deep groove of Loki’s spine.

 

Loki smirked. "Don't worry. Once I've gotten used to my weakened state you'll be plenty occupied with just one of me."

 

Lifting his head to smirk at Loki, he said just one sentence.

 

“Now, about that corset.”

 

Things seemed to return to normal in Stark Tower after that. Or maybe better than normal. Tony was laughing and joking with his teammates again while Loki wandered the halls humming bits of his songs to himself and occasionally smiling when he thought no one would see. None other than Pepper and Coulson seemed to make the connection though (and both were very clear that they wanted no details) and for that Loki was thankful. He was still new to this 'relationship' thing and wasn't even close to ready to go public.  
  
That didn't mean he couldn't have his fun though. He liked seeing how far he could push Tony before he snapped and things had to move to a more private location. He made a little game of it for himself, doing things like brushing up against him for no reason, or bending over farther than was really necessary to Tony had a clear view of his ass or subtly groping his lover's fine thighs and bottom when they passed each other in the halls. It was daring and it was fun.  
  
Like now. This was probably the most blatant provocation he had ever tried but damn the situation screamed for it. And he could hardly deny the call of mischief when he heard it. Which is what brought him here, twenty minutes before his show, in front of his dressing room mirror, almost naked from the waist up, waiting for Tony Stark to walk through the door.

 

Tony needed to talk to Loki about whether or not he needed a certain third prop for his fourth song, but his mouth went dry as soon as he walked into the dressing room.

 

Loki was bent over near his mirror, one booted foot up on the plush stool there, his back sloping and elegant. His thin feet cradled by black leather all the way to his knee, arched high on heels that he’d never even seen Pepper dare to wear.

 

His hair was pulled back as usual, cascading down his back in black silky waves, flipping up at the ends as they tended to do. His milky white legs were encased by downright sinful black latex leggings, hugging every possible groove on his lower half, leaving not a single thing to the imagination. Light from the bulbs surrounding Loki’s mirror made the latex shine and glisten, like he was soaking wet.

 

There was the slight sound of rubber grinding together as Loki stood, and took his foot from the stool to stand upright. One hand was pressed across his chest, where he was holding a similarly shiny black latex corset, with the laces all undone and loose across his back.

 

“Stark,” he challenged devilishly.

 

 Tony could only breathe out a slow exhale. He’d made jokes about lacing Loki into a corset before, but this was just… this was too much, way too much all at once.

 

"Would you mind giving me a hand?" Loki asked, that teasing smirk never wavering. "It's not very easy to do this on my own and I didn't think you would appreciate me going to someone else for help."

 

A breathless moan escaped Tony’s lips, which were terribly dry all of a sudden.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, okay,” he said hoarsely, before clearing his throat. He shook his head to clear it and regain his composure. “Up against the wall, hands flat. And don’t move.”

 

"Yes sir." Loki replied sarcastically but didn't hesitate in completing Tony's orders. Stepping away from the table he placed his hands firmly on the wall beside it. His feet were spread, helping him keep his balance while he leaned forward, his ass on full display.  
  
"Like this?" he asked coyly, looking over his shoulder at his blushing lover.

 

Tony closed the gap between them, allowing his hips to bump into Loki’s plush, shiny bottom for just a moment before giving himself breathing room. He fingered the silky emerald green ribbons he was meant to tie Loki into the corset with, allowing them to trail about and tickle the bare skin of the rock star’s back.

 

“ _Perfect_.”

 

He gave a sharp pull, drawing the bottom of the corset closed around Loki’s hips, cinching his waist in by a fraction of an inch. In order to gain leverage, he forced one of his legs between Loki’s, the cloth of his pants sliding blissfully against the shiny latex between the ex-Asgardian’s thighs.

 

Loki gasped, his eyes going wide, as another sharp tug tightened the fabric around his stomach and bottom few ribs. He would have lost his balance and gone toppling backwards with the force of the tug if it hadn't been for his impeccable balance and Tony's leg holding him up while rubbing deliciously against his inner thighs.  
  
"Having fun back there?" he teased, shooting Tony a look over his shoulder.

 

Tony gave a warning slap to Loki’s latex-bound rump, before heaving another criss-cross of string and pulling the corset tighter still.

 

“No talking. You’ll mess it up with your lungs expanding.” He ground out lustfully, giving another pull and another. His groin was pressed firmly against the rock star’s ample bottom at this point, his thigh pressed so tightly against the thinner man’s groin that it was nearly painful.

 

Loki started to chuckle in his own uniquely dark way before cutting himself off with another surprised gasp followed by a strangled groan. The material was pressing against his ribs, squeezing harder and harder as Tony worked his way up, in more than one way. Loki could feel Tony's growing arousal pressed against him and endeavored to be more vocal, intending to drive the man mad.

 

Tony’s gasps were echoing Loki’s now, his hips grinding forward to keep the idol in place as he pulled back sharply on the corset strings. Over halfway there now, and the slope of Loki’s waist was drawing in tighter and tighter, and leaving Tony more and more breathless.

 

The leather and latex creaked under the force of being pulled so tight, the strings pulled taught and cut lines into Tony’s fingers, the flesh beneath the corset of Loki’s back was beginning to pinch, but the two of them were so entranced that none of these things mattered. No, not at all.

 

"Tony..." Loki whispered, his head tipping back. He rolled his hips, rubbing himself against Tony even more. He was seconds away from telling him to forget the damn corset when there was a knock on the door.  
  
Immediately all movement stopped, both of them frozen by the sudden intrusion of reality.  
  
"Five minutes, sir." a voice called from the other side of the door.

 

Tony pulled back, already feeling his dick wither. “Dammit. You should have called me in earlier.” He hissed. He finally pulled together the last of the strings and tied it tightly at the top, allowing the strings to droop down his back. He clamped the golden cuffs about his neck and wrists next, following the golden loops on his ears.

 

“Damn, you’re delicious like this.” He purred, straightening the choker over the rock star’s thin neck.

 

"That's the point." Loki said with a smile before and surging forward, pressing his lips to Tony's in a quick, rough kiss. "And that is for after the show. Since you dressed me I think you deserve the honor of undressing me as well."

 

Loki looked down at his feet as if he couldn't look Tony in the eye any more.  
  
"If you still want to, after this." He muttered. "Just...don't take this song the wrong way. It's an… apology of sorts. Just, try not to judge me too harshly."

 

Tony screwed his face up as Loki disappeared from the dressing room and made his way to the stage. He was confused now, but he would stay for the first song. Always the first song.

 

He announced Loki’s arrival to the stage as always. The response was louder and louder with every new concert.

 

He stepped out of the way in time for the curtains to rise. The song started hard and slow, with a pounding bass. Loki’s voice sounded tired and subdued.

 

“ _Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets_  
 _Cause you're the only one that I know who'll keep them_  
 _Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets_  
 _I know you'll keep them, and this is what I've done_ ,”

 

Tony could hardly believe his ears. Loki had said it would be an apology… but could this possibly be what he thought it was? _  
_  
“ _I've been a bad, bad boy for so long_  
 _I don't know how to change what went wrong_  
 _Daddy's little boy, but he didn’t care_  
 _What did it teach me? That love leaves, yeah._ ”

Tony prayed to the heavens that the audience understood. He could see news crews in the audience as well. They were filming, this would be on TV. He would be known. _This_ would be known.  
  
“ _I've been down every road you could go_  
 _I made some bad choices as you know_  
 _Seems I had the whole world cradled in my hands_  
 _But its just like me not to understand._ ”

The audience was silent. Listening. For the first time ever, there was no hollering or jumping. Loki had their attention, and they were understanding.

  
“ _I learned my lessons young,_  
 _And I turned myself around_  
 _I've got a guardian angel hanging on my shoulder_  
 _She's been watching over me_.”

 

Tony could only imagine how Loki must be feeling. He was such a proud man, and here he was, admitting he was wrong.

 

It was impossible to even believe.

 

The newspeople were all talking into the camera, scrolling the lyrics, each of them disbelieving this as much as the next.

 

Even _Thor_ was in the audience. Tony wasn’t sure how long he’d been there, but he seemed to listen to the lyrics just as intently as every other pair of ears around.

 

The end of the song was met with thunderous applause that left Loki breathless with relief. He had been worried that this song might be as well received as his last but it seemed that finally he had gotten through to them, at least a little bit. He looked over at Tony, wanting to run to him and throw himself into his arms. But the music for his next song was already playing and all he could do was smile, letting him know that they would talk when this was over.  
  
The rest of the concert was routine after his big opening, with the exception of his big finale. As soon as he stumbled off stage he was swamped by reporters and Thor who nearly broke his back in an over-affectionate hug. It took almost an hour of mingled lies and threats before he managed to disentangle himself enough to retreat to his dressing room where Tony was waiting.

 

Loki opened his mouth to speak, but was instantly silenced by a strong, domineering kiss. Arms wrapped completely around the pale, corseted waist of the rock star, saliva and sweat mingling between their lips. Tony’s fingers weaved deeply into Loki’s hair, seizing him, possessing him.

 

“I’m so proud of you.” He breathed when lips parted.

 

Loki sighed, relaxing in Tony's arms. "I'm glad you didn't hate it. But you understood it right?" He asked nervously, leaning his head against Tony's shoulder.

 

“Of course I understood it. I’m just hoping the rest of the world did. They don’t know you like I do.” He smoothed his palm over Loki’s hair, pulling strands out of his face that had been knocked their by the kiss. “But the newspeople are all abuzz, so at the very least they listened. It’s just a matter of time, waiting to see if they _heard_ it.”

 

"Thank you Tony." Loki sighed, wrapping his arms around Tony's waist and holding him tight. He couldn't imagine feeling safer or happier than he did now, with Tony holding him and loving him and understanding him. How he had survived so long without this he couldn't even begin to imagine.

 

“But, did you mean it?” When Loki didn’t look up, Tony lifted his face with a hand on either cheek. “Did you mean it, or did you just do it for me? Was it another hoax from the trickster God? Are you just trying to prove something? Or did you _mean_ it?”

 

"I meant it." his lover replied. Loki reached up and took Tony's hands, guiding them back to their proper place holding him against Tony's chest. "I...made a mistake. I went about things the wrong way. I know that."

 

There was a long silence before Tony blew out a long breath through his nose. “I don’t believe you.” He pressed a finger to Loki’s lips to stop him from arguing. “But that’s okay. I don’t want you to throw away your convictions for the human race. Not for me. Don’t lie for me. Lie for the public, for the love of God, lie to get kids to stop throwing rocks at you. But don’t lie for me.”

 

"I'm not saying I don't still hate humans. Or Asgardians. I'm not saying I'm sorry." Loki said, ignoring the finger on his lips. Tony had started this conversation, he wasn't going to end it now. not before Loki had said his piece. "I regret hurting you. Not them. I know what I did was wrong. But I can't say I would change it."

 

A smile spread across Tony’s face, and he put his hand back on the rock star’s hip. “There’s the Loki I know. Is it wrong to say that I find your hatred for humanity your most attractive trait?”

 

There was a sudden flash of light before Loki could even respond, and both of  them turned abruptly to see a cameraperson scurrying away from the crack in the slightly open door. 

 

"Damn him." Loki growled. This was going to ruin everything. Even if he hadn't overheard their conversation he would publish that picture and everyone would know about him and Tony. "Everyone is going to see that."

 

“Let them. It’ll only make you more popular. I’m used to dealing with scandals involving you by now anyway.” Tony said. “Give the kid his scoop. As long as I get mine.” He leaned forward and nibbled mischievously on Loki’s collarbone.

 

"You don't mind?" Loki asked, tilting his head back so Tony had better access to his neck. He was a little surprised, he hadn't wanted their relationship to be public because he was still settling into it but he had thought Tony would be even more against it becoming common knowledge. He knew people wouldn't take kindly to everyone's favorite playboy starting up a relationship with a villain like him.

 

“I mind a little. But not nearly enough that it’s worth walking away from _you_ , like _this_ , to go chasing down some little boy with a camera and pay him to keep his mouth shut.” Tony said, his hands moving from Loki’s hips to his ass in order to grind him closer.

 

Loki eagerly responded, his hands slipping under Tony's shirt to slide over the firm muscles of his back while he rubbed his growing hard-on against Tony's.  
  
"I didn't think you'd want people knowing about us." he explained.

 

“I’m Tony goddamn Stark.” Tony grinned, running his tonge over his lower lip and pushing his hips forward to punctuate his sentence. “And Tony goddamn Stark _always_ has the best of everything. It’s what I’m known for. If the public doesn’t know I have the _best_ , what’s the point of having it?”

 

"I don't think the public is going to share your opinion." Loki laughed. He gave up the pleasant feel of Tony's skin beneath his hands to tug at his shirt, hoping the other man would get the hint and allow him to remove it.  "Not about me, anyway."

 

“Eh, probably about… forty percent of the public will. And the rest of the public can… kiss my ass.” Tony said with a snide little grin, moving back to unbutton his shirt. He turned off the light so his arc reactor illuminated the area, and locked the door. “Now, let’s get this corset _off_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! There's the end! I hope you all liked it!


End file.
